Advice For Lonely Teens with Chronic Illness. No friends? No life? Bullying? | Ep.237

By Adem Lewis / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

Hey guys what’s up it’s Jeffrey Lin.
today I want to talk about just feeling alone and feeling like you don’t have
friends when you have a chronic illness such as eczema or any other chronic
illness that prevents you from socializing doing kind of what other
people do and most of the time I get this question from kids teens so this
video is for you I am traveling alone here in Amsterdam now it’s just in Paris
and Rotterdam and I’m going to Stockholm next so I’ve lived most of my life doing
things on my own but people do come around so let’s talk about that while we
roll the intro hit the subscribe button and we’ll see you on the other side okay
now from the beginning Hey guys it’s Jeffrey Lin. so I’ve been
traveling on my own for the past week and a half first I went to Paris for a
Paris Fashion Week then I stopped in Rotterdam the south
part of Holland and today I’m here in Amsterdam I usually come a couple of
times a year just to heal somehow I do so much better here my asthma is
basically gone and my allergies are so much better even the foods that I eat
don’t react as much as when I’m in America I’ve been just about to every
corner of America and some parts of Asia and never have I felt this good so I try
to come a couple times a year but I do travel alone and sometimes it does get
lonely so today I want to talk about or answer a question I get a lot which is
from usually from kids in high school and junior high a couple in college I
guess about you know just not having friends and order people being afraid of
them because of their eczema skin condition or just not being able to
socialize it much because of whatever condition they have you know it could be
like my allergies and just sensitivities to fragrances and odors or just needing
not being able to eat certain foods and can’t go out so I do miss out on a ton
of social interactions but I do have a lot more than most people would imagine
and so my main advice to people that are feeling alone especially the kids that
are feeling alone right now is you know school seems like a big part because all
you’ve known since you’ve had your memory from probably like age 4 that you
can remember you probably been in kindergarten or preschool and then
elementary school all the way up to junior high in high school so all you’ve
known is school life and just that environment but school is actually a
tiny tiny part of life once you kind of graduate either from high
school and just go on and do your own thing or if you actually go to college
then it’s gonna take a couple more years but even for me college was quite
liberating like people mature so much between high school and college they’re
more accepting and I guess just the fact of going to college and being exposed to
new worlds being out on your own being exposed to you know classmates from all
over the country and oftentimes all over the world or if you travel to somewhere
else to a different country to go to college go to school that opens up the
mind a lot for other students and they’re
more accepting and so people do tend to open up and won’t judge you like kids
would so it really is just a phase and it’s really hard when you’re living
through that part but it’s also a sign of their immaturity because as people
get older everybody gets sick so I don’t care who you are you’re gonna run into
difficult times of your life not just with health but with finances with
relationships it’s just that for those of us with chronic illness and those who
were born with it or develop the illness at a very young age we had to learn to
become mature and deal with these realities of life a lot sooner than
other kids who are currently in school and they’re technically sheltered by
parents and the school system I guess a lot of kids who have to go out and get a
job for themselves grow up a lot student or two and those people are probably
more accepting just because in the workplace or you know even working at
McDonald’s you have to deal with adults and all kinds of people and you have to
be accepting of them and work with them and work with clients and customers
instead of you know just being your own clique
being in your own group of friends that typically happens in junior high and
high school that makes you feel excluded so something – something that’s wrong
with you is just your if you have a chronic illness you probably grew up a
lot faster than your classmates and if they’re you know excluding you or you
don’t feel like they understand what you’re going through it’s just they
haven’t had to face real life and eventually they will and when they do
then they’ll be accepting of you and kind of be on the same page and that’s
kind of where I am is just I’ve you know met so many people throughout my life
that are perfectly okay with how I am and see me as a normal person
even though obviously I’m not they’ll make accommodations if I need to eat at
McDonald’s all the time just because I can’t eat anything else when I’m
traveling you know those my friends will do that for me because you know when you
get older you eating it just about every place possible and you know having a
meal or two you with me out of McDonald’s or a subway isn’t a
big deal for them but when you’re a kid and everything seems like super cool or
trendy and you want to just go in a certain place and check it out or that’s
where all the people are hanging out you know they it they’re less willing to be
accommodating but as an adult it’s also hard to find you know cliques or group
of friends that are hanging out a certain place just because everybody
have jobs everybody has a family and other obligations you’re not just gonna
have free time to kick and do whatever so that brings me to another point that
you in the school years you know junior high high school even though you do have
these restrictions and you know maybe you don’t have the
social group that you want and you don’t have the friends that you want you also
still have so much more freedom and time to do your own thing and figure yourself
out then when you become an adult because once you become an adult things
just get harder kids want to grow up and things and think things will get easier
as you get older because you get to decide what you want do but that’s not
the case there’s just so many things just become your responsibility so many
things that your parents are doing here for your school’s are you for you or
maybe music coach they are handling a lot of real-world stuff they’re keeping
that at bay so that you can be at home you can go to school you can just focus
on growing up but once you do grow up there’s a lot of things to handle so I
would say just focus on your life right now and if you’re sick just focus on
trying to get better trying to understand and study your disease trying
to understand medical science and how to work with doctors yeah make that your
focus don’t focus on how other people are treating you or how big or small
your social circles are you know I literally spent most of my school years
at home learning everything on my own but eventually things turned around and
it’s because I spent so much time on my own learning that I had the skills to do
certain work and then meet people through those work that have similar
passions such as stock trading or my videography and then once you get into a
circle of people with the same passion a lot of times people will also see past
your limitations just kind of see you for the same passions that you have this
the same interest that have with this you

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