( Dean Martin’s “Ain’t That
a Kick in the Head?” )♪ ♪♪ How lucky
can one guy be? ♪♪ I kissed her,
and she kissed me ♪♪ Like the fella once said ♪♪ Ain’t that
a kick in the head? ♪♪ ♪♪ The room was
completely black ♪♪ I hugged her,
and she hugged back ♪♪ Like the
sailor said, quote ♪♪ Ain’t that
a hole in the boat? ♪♪ My head keeps spinning ♪♪ I go to sleep
and keep grinning ♪♪ If this is
just the beginning ♪♪ My life is
gonna be beautiful ♪♪ I’ve sunshine
enough to spread ♪♪ It’s just like
the fella said ♪♪ Tell me quick ♪♪ Ain’t that a kick
in the head? ♪♪ ♪( menacing music )♪ ♪( all shouting )♪ ♪♪ Ain’t that
a kick in the head? ♪♪ ♪So am I going to get the
karate pajamas, too– Quiet! The student only speaks
when spoken to. Is that understood? Uh, yes. – Yes, sir?
– You will always address me as “Sensei,”
is that understood? Yes, Sensei. These aren’t pajamas.
This is a gi. And you’ll get one
when you’ve earned it. All right, are you ready
to begin your training? Yes, Sensei. – What the–
– Hyah! ( groans ) Lesson one, strike first. Never wait
for the enemy to attack. You could have gave me, like,
a warning. Quiet! We do not train
to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here on the street,
in competition, a man confronts you,
he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy.
What is the problem, Mr. Diaz? ( weakly )
There’s no problem, Sensei. You punched me,
and I have asthma, so… Not anymore. We do not allow
weakness in this dojo. So you can leave your asthma
and your peanut allergies and all that other
made-up bullshit outside. Is that understood? Yes, but those are real
medical problems. I was– Yes, Sensei, understood. Cobra Kai isn’t
just about karate. It’s about a way of life. Take that first lesson. Striking first is the
initial step towards victory. Okay, like when
you’re at a party – and you see a hot babe.
– Yeah. You don’t wait
for some other guy to go talk to her first, do you? I mean, I’ve never
been to a party, so… Big surprise.
All right, look… striking first is about being
aggressive, all right? If you’re not aggressive,
then you’re being a pussy, and you don’t
want to be a pussy. You want to have balls. Don’t you think you’re
doing a lot of genderizing? – What?
– Oh, uh, sorry. Don’t you think you’re doing
a lot of genderizing, Sensei. No, what the hell
are you talking about? Oh, uh, my guidance counselor
says that certain words perpetuate the sexist
world view that can trigger– Quiet! From now on, you won’t listen
to your guidance counselor. You’re going to listen to me.
Is that understood? – Uh, yes, Sensei.
– Good. Now stop yapping
like a little girl and give me 50 push-ups
on your knuckles. Uh, okay. Yeah. Okay, okay. ( exhales sharply ) All right,
just do some crunches. Don’t you have gym class
or something? Yeah. ( door bells jingle ) Howdy, there,
Mr., uh, Lawrence? – It’s Sensei.
– Miguel, shut up. What brings you in? Looking to lose that gut
and learn how to kick some ass? No. I’m from the city
health department. This is a list of requirements needed to open up
an exercise studio. This isn’t
an exercise studio. This is a karate dojo. Yeah, same deal. Wow. This place needs a lot of work. You’re not
open for business, are you? You, you a customer here? No, that’s just an illegal
I picked up this morning. He’s helping me set up. I don’t need
to know about all that. My job is just to make sure
this place is up to code. You don’t want
a scabies outbreak like that hot yoga place
over on Tujunga. Wait, so I have to do all
this crap before I even open? No, you need to do all that
to get the certificate that’s required
to get the insurance you need to open. But you knew that when
you signed your lease, right? Right, yeah. I’ll drop in next week
for another inspection. Huh, cool rattlesnake. It’s a cobra. Oh, right, duh. I’m such an idiot. Cobra “Kay.” ( door bells jingle )( laid-back music )♪ ♪( indistinct chatter ) ( crowd oohs )( gunfire,
screaming on tablet )Hey, bud, hey. Why don’t you check out
that magician over there? He’s doing some
pretty amazing tricks. – I’m on level 10.
– All right, come on. All right, you could
play that game anywhere. How about we shoot some hoops?
I’ll win you a prize. I’m thirsty. All right, great,
there’s a bar right over there. Let’s take a walk,
we’ll get a couple of sodas. Nah, I’m good.( gunfire,
screaming on tablet )You know, I would have killed to visit a club like this
when I was his age. You know where I had
to hang out in the summer? On a filthy street in Newark– With a broken fire hydrant
next to your Aunt Tessie’s. Yeah. What do you say we let
Anthony play with his thing and you and I get
a couple drinks? – ( sighs ) Dirty martinis?
– Yes, ice, ice cold. Perfect. – LaRussos!
– Hey. Hey, you still
kicking that competition? You know it, Isaiah. – How’s the Q5 treating you?
– Wouldn’t know. This one over here’s
been behind the wheel all month, going
back and forth to robot camp. Dad, it’s an
AP physics prep course. – Mm-hmm.
– Hey, where’s Samantha? I feel like I haven’t
seen her all summer. – Oh, she’s–she’s–
– She’s with her grandma. But I’ll tell her
that you said hi. – Great.
– Later, LaRussos. Bye. Woman: Here are your drinks. With her grandma?
Yeah, right. Lately I can’t get her
to call my mom, – let alone visit her.
– What am I supposed to say? That she’s hanging out
with her new friends? All I know is
she should be here. We come to
this party once a year. She gets to see her
stupid friends every day. Someone’s in a mood. What’s going on with you? Nothing, I’m fine. All right, all right.
You remember that… that guy from my high school
whose car I fixed for free? Yeah, the blonde pretty boy that you beat
in that tournament. Actually, I never
remember calling him “pretty.” – Oh.
– But anyway… I’m driving home
from work yesterday, and I pull up to a stoplight,
and I look, and in this strip mall,
I see that he’s got– Dad, where
the hell is my drink? Hurry up. You know what? I’m going to
throw him in the goddamn pool. Okay. ( door bells jingle ) Looking good. Make sure you get both sides. And after you’re
done with that, you can take care
of these exposed wires. That’s going to be
a lot of work. Yeah, but what
does any of this have to do
with karate, Sensei? Do not question my methods. Just be thankful
you’re not a sumo wrestler. Those guys have
to wipe their Sensei’s asses. ( bottle cap clinks ) So, I, uh, see you were
a karate champion, Sensei. You don’t have
to call me “Sensei” every time. I’m sorry, Sensei. I, um, sorry, I’m sorry. Eh, I won a couple
All Valley tournaments. Didn’t lose a single point
my junior year. All right. What happened
your senior year? This isn’t 20 questions.
Get back to scrubbing. – Yeah.
– ( electronic music on phone ) Where the hell is
that garbage coming from? – That’s me, sorry, yeah.
– You hear that? Hey. Yeah, uh, debate is
running a little late. Uh, okay. Love you too. Don’t tell me
you have a girlfriend. ( chuckles )
That was my mom, actually. Um, I told her
I joined the debate team because she doesn’t
approve of violence, so… Yeah, what about your dad? Is he okay with you
getting your ass kicked up and down Reseda Boulevard? Oh, I never, uh, really knew
my dad, so… All right,
well, stop standing there. Get back to training. Okay, yeah, sorry. Okay. And change that ringtone. Get some Guns N’ Roses
or something. What’s Guns N’ Roses? I’m going to pretend
you didn’t say that.( upbeat electronic music )♪ ♪( girls giggling ) Whoo! Okay, you were totally right.
This is so much fun. Told you. Always better to be the one
throwing the party. And Kyler’s been
eye-banging you all day.♪ ♪– What’s all this?
– I have no idea. Hey, Rory,
do your flip again. I want to get it
for my channel. – Whoo-hoo!
– ( all cheering ) Girl: Yes, Rory!
( laughing ) ( cheering continues ) Hey, hey, what the hell
is going on here? Oh, shit. All right, everybody
get out of here right now. I’m so sorry, Dad. I had no idea you were going
to be home so early. It doesn’t make a difference
what time I get home, Sam. You think we want a bunch of strangers in
the backyard making a mess? They’re not strangers.
They’re my friends. Some friends.
Is he wearing my bathing suit? Wait, are all of you guys
wearing my bathing suits? All right, listen,
party’s over, let’s go. Take the suits off and leave. No, not out here, genius.
In the pool house. Daniel, can I talk
to you inside? Yeah, did– Daniel: Uh, no, I’m not
acting irrationally. I’m acting like
a responsible parent who cares about his kid. Okay, we both care
about our kid. I just don’t think embarrassing
Sam in front of her friends is helping matters. I don’t like
these new friends. It’s not like Samantha. Why can’t she be
at robot camp with Aisha? Because she
doesn’t want to be a nerd. Look, I remember
what is was like being part of a clique
that other kids made fun of. Believe me,
girls can be really cruel. Listen, I know a thing
or two about cruel, okay? I was pushed off
a cliff on my bike. There’s nothing wrong
with Sam wanting to be popular. Popular is fine. I just don’t want her turning
into one of these privileged Encino brats. Neither do I. But keep throwing her friends
out of the house. See where that gets you
with your relationship with your daughter. – ( toilet flushes )
– Whoo! Skinny dips and bong rips.
( shudders ) Whoa, oh, you’re that banzai
guy on those commercials. ( sniffs )
Wait, where did everybody go?( calm music )♪ ♪( sighs ) ( sighs ) Wish you were here
to give me some of that
Miyagi wisdom right now. – Hai.
– Hai. Hyah! – I did it!
– Good job, kiddo. Now, if anybody comes for me,
I’ll kick their butt. Well, always remember
our first lesson, you. This is
for self-defense only. True karate is here. – It’s here, but never here.
– My tummy? Yeah, something like that.
Get over here, you. ( grunts ) But never give up your defense. Beware
of the spinning hug move! Ah! Daddy!I need one of you bitchesto pick me up
for school tomorrow.How is your car
still not ready?My dad is getting
me a new one.He felt bad about that “deer”that jacked up
the Range Rover.You hit a deer?No, Moon,
she rear-ended that guy’s car.Oh, yeah, right.I’m still kind of
freaked out about it. I feel guilty
about just driving away.From that meth-head zombie?
If I hadn’t gunned it,we’d be chained up
in his basement right now.Daniel: Sam, you got a sec? Oh, I didn’t know you were
talking to your friends. – I-I’ll come back.
– No, just wait a second. Uh, yeah, I can pick
you up in the morning, yes.Oh, good.– I just wanted to say–
– No, look, Dad… ( sighs )
I’m really sorry about today. I shouldn’t have
just invited everyone over without asking
you and Mom first. Well, maybe
I overreacted a little. Maybe more
than a little, okay? Just have those guys
bring their own trunks from now on, okay? Deal. So these guys… Anyone I have to worry about? – You don’t have to worry, Dad.
– ( chuckles ) But there is
this one guy, Kyler. He and I have been
texting a little bit. Texting. Right. Just words, though? What do you mea– Oh, gross. No, no.
Just words, Dad. Good, that’s good. So Kyler… how about we invite him over
for dinner on Friday? You want me to invite Kyler
to Friday family dinner? I’m not talking about
walking you down the aisle. We’re going
to give the kid a meal. Besides, your brother
has a sleepover. It’ll be a good chance
for us to get to know him. Okay. – I’ll see if he can come.
– Great. You don’t have
to worry about me, Dad. I can handle myself.
I’m a LaRusso. That’s my girl.
Jersey tough.( groovy music )♪ ♪Boy: Dude, right there.
Come on. Boy: It’s almost out.
Come on. ( indistinct chatter )♪ ♪Is it cool if I sit here? Ooh, sorry, table
is really blowing up right now. I can put you on the wait list, but it’s probably next semester
at the earliest. – Okay.
– No, I’m kidding. Sit. – Miguel.
– Demetri. This is Eli. He’s a man of few words.♪ ♪Dude, don’t torture yourself.
Those are the rich girls. ( girls giggling ) Do you ever
talk to them or…? Oh, yeah, all the time.
We hang out after school. Make out,
give each other hand jobs. Eli here
is the homecoming king. Gets laid more than anyone.
Isn’t that right, Eli? Talk to them? You realize what table
you’re sitting at, right? You’ve pretty much
signed away all hopes of losing your virginity
before college. Eli: Oh, shit,
Yasmine’s looking at us. Probably
just making fun of me. I don’t think
she’s making fun of you. I mean, just because they’re
hot doesn’t mean they’re mean. Oh, my God, you guys. You see that guy over there who looks like
he went down on a lawnmower? He’s literally wearing the
ugliest sweater I’ve ever seen. ( laughs ) That is so wrong. Speaking of wrong,
check out Fug-lisha. She looks like
she ate a picnic table. ( girl laughing ) Girl: Aw. ( whimpers mockingly ) I don’t care if Yasmine
is the meanest girl at school. I’d kill both of you just
to get her to spit in my face. Yeah, well, if you
don’t make a move, you’re never going
to have a shot with her. True, but I’ll also never
suffer a humiliating rejection. I’m at peace
with my depression. Last thing
I need to be is suicidal.( tense music )♪ ♪What are you doing? Striking first. Oh, shit, I hope we don’t
get hit with the shrapnel.♪ ♪What’s up, ladies? ( indistinct chatter ) ( chuckles ) ( sighs ) Boy: See you later, ‘Rhea. ( laughter ) So how’d it go?Johnny:
You can’t strike first if
you don’t know how to strike.The cobra strike
is composed of two parts– the lunge… which requires the use
of the whole body… and the bite, which is
everything that happens after you make contact,
all right? You don’t stop here
where knuckle hits the bone. You punch through the bone,
like the guy you really want to hit is
standing behind this asshole. All right? ( exhales sharply, yells ) All right? Strike here,
you bloody his nose. Strike here,
you break his teeth. Strike here, you could
severely damage his trachea. Obviously, that’s only
for extreme situations. All right, line up. – ( cell phone ringing )
I want you to practice. ( exhales deeply )
Hyah. Keep practicing.
Punch through the dummy. ( ringing continues ) Hello? Is this Mr. Lawrence? – Yes.
– This is Carla Jenkins–the vice principal
at North Hills High. I have you listed as an
emergency contact for Robby Keene. Uh, yeah, I’m his father. But you’re supposed
to call his mom. I already called her.
She’s not picking up. Right, big surprise. All right,
what did he do this time? We found him with Molly.Who’s Molly?Is that some chick
he’s hooking up with? It’s an illegal drug,
Mr. Lawrence. All right,
put my kid on the phone. ( grunts ) – What do you want?
– Robby, what the hell?You’re doing drugs? You want to flush
your life down the toilet? Like you’re one to talk. Don’t try to play dad now.
You’re a pathetic loser. Um, I think maybe I should
keep trying his mother. Yeah, good luck with that. – ( grunting )
– What the hell’s he doing? Johnny: All right,
no, no, no, no, no. You’re doing it all wrong. ( sighs ) What do you want,
those kids at school to keep dumping
shit on your head? You want all the girls to think
you’re a wangless dork? Because you can stop
your training right now and you can walk outside
and let the whole world know you’re a loser. Or you can plant your feet,
look your enemy in the eyes, and punch him in the face! Picture your enemy. All right, you have
a picture in your mind? What are you going to do? – ( yells )
– Again! – ( yells )
– Are you a loser? No, Sensei! Again! ( yelling ) The yanagi, or yanagi ba,
depending on the region, is a knife used exclusively
for cutting sashimi. I picked up this bad boy
on my first trip to Okinawa. Voilà. The famous… LaRusso ponzu toro. Oh, no, thanks.
I don’t like sushi. Uh, are you sure you just don’t want to try
a little piece? – It melts in your mouth.
– Uh, no. Fish kind of grosses me out. No, you like fish. What about the
fish sticks at school? Oh, yeah,
fish sticks are dope. You have fish sticks? Uh, no, just this
fresh fish I picked up from the
Japanese market this morning. You know what?
Why don’t we go see if we can find Kyler
something he can eat, okay? Sam, you want to
come with me to the kitchen? Sure. ( exhales deeply, chuckles ) Thank you for
inviting me over, Mr. LaRusso. Um, you have
a really great house. And I think Sam
is really cool, too. Well, thanks.
She takes after her mother. And listen, I never liked sushi
when I was your age either. It wasn’t until I met
a good friend of mine – that it began to grow on me.
– Mm. He was from Okinawa. Where are your parents from? Irvine, I think. Irvine, right. So tell me about
that shiner you got there. Oh, this. Um… this is from wrestling. You know, I dodged the wrong
way, and I caught an elbow. ( laughs )
It’s stupid. Is that how you
hurt your hand, too? No, it’s okay. I was in my share of fights
back in high school. I don’t know
what you’re talking about. Come on, Kyler, I know
high-school kids can be rough. No, it wasn’t a kid. So there was a fight. Is there something
going on at home? Oh, no, no, no. Um… Okay, some guy
at a mini mall– he just jumped me
and my friends. – What?
– Yeah. We were just at the store, trying to get
some protein bars. And, yeah,
some homeless-looking guy– he just started
giving us a hard time. And the next thing we know,
he busts some karate. Karate? ( stammering ) Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What mini mall was this? Hey, Sensei,
is there any particular way you want me
to wash these windows? No, I don’t give a shit. Whatever’s easiest. You know what? Just go clean the toilet,
and we’ll call it a night. Okay. And do that one
on your hands and knees.( faint electronic music
playing over headphones )♪ ♪( door bells jingle ) ( door bells jingle ) Johnny:
Welcome to Cobra Kai. Some things never change. Yeah,
what are you talking about? I heard you beat up
a bunch of teenagers in that parking lot out there. Oh, that. No, I didn’t
beat up any teenagers. I kicked the shit out of a bunch of assholes
who deserved it. Wow, Johnny Lawrence calling
someone else an asshole. That’s rich, man. Yeah, what’s that
supposed to mean? Look, I’m not here
to rehash the past. Just stay away
from my daughter’s friends. Your daughter’s friends? Yeah, that makes sense.
Nice company she keeps. What the hell
is that supposed to mean? It means those
friends of hers were wailing on a kid
half their size. Now, maybe
you don’t know your daughter as well as you think
you do. Get your house
in order, LaRusso. Who the hell do you think
you’re talking to? Miguel: Bathroom’s clean! Is there anything else
you need me to do? I’m sorry, Sensei, I– Sensei? Really? Oh, my God, kid, I don’t know
what he’s told you, but you shouldn’t believe
a word this guy says, or you’re going to
end up exactly like him. You and I…this… We aren’t done.( dramatic music )I’m right here, man. ( scoffs )♪ ♪( door bells jingle )♪ ♪I’m sorry if I interrupted
anything, Sensei. Should I do 20 push-ups
on my knuckles? ( chuckles )
Right, like you could. ( engine turning over )( bluesy rock music )♪ ♪Johnny: You’ve all learned
to strike first.( dramatic music )I’ve taught you to strike hard.But I haven’t taught you
the third lesson of Cobra Kai.No mercy.The older you get,
the more you’re gonna learnthat life isn’t fair.Things are going good.Everything falls apart.That’s how it goes.Life shows no mercy.– So neither do we.
– Hyah! Daniel: I feel like lately
I’ve let my anger take control. It’s like ever since that dojo
opened, you’ve been off. Really wish you could
be here right now. Why don’t you tell me
who did this? I’m ready for your lame-ass
karate this time. It’s not lame-ass karate. It’s Cobra Kai. All: Yes, Sensei! God, I love this sport. – There’s a girl at school.
– She hot? There are kids from my school
who are in Cobra Kai. That doesn’t automatically
make them bad. When I’m done with you,
you’re gonna be sending a
message back. Thinks he can bring Cobra Kai
back to the Valley?Not on my watch.What the hell are you doing? This guy was the biggest bully
in my high school, and he hasn’t changed at all. Come on, Johnny! We do whatever it takes to win!You wanna do this? Let’s go.Remember who you are.
You’re Cobra Kai. ( grunts ) You’re gonna regret this
when it’s over. Yeah, right.
Like this’ll ever be over.