Yeah, well, that’s why
they call it charity work. Because it’s work. It’s work. Good evening,
ladies. How are you
doing tonight? Really awesome.
So good. My name is Devon,
I’ll be taking care of you. Start you off with anything
to drink? Uh, water’s fine. Water’s perfect. Great, so we have a few specials
in addition to the menu– Listen,
before the specials, I have to tell you
I’m allergic to nuts. My meal cannot have
any nuts in it. She’s insanely
allergic to nuts. Got it, no nuts.
Not a problem. We accommodate
allergies all the time. I’ll tell the chef. No, I’m serious. It can’t have even
been around nuts. Cashews, pecans– Pine nuts, peanuts. Yeah, doughnuts, cronuts. Almonds.
Lalmonds. Dalmonds. I understand. So our specials are– Oh, actually, some of the bread
might have some nuts in them. Oh, my God!
Are you serious? I can’t believe
this is happening! Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God! What is this? Oh, my God, it’s a nut! It’s a little nut! What did we just say,
Devon? Is this (bleep) “Memento”? Are you an f-ing
goldfish, Devon? Are we in your fish bowl? Oh, look, a little
plastic treasure chest. (bleep) you, Devon! Do you know what would
happen to me if I ate that? Her face will swell up,
she will turn purple. She willose oxygen. Have you seen “Gravity”?
I did. Was that your favorite part, when they lost
(bleep) oxygen, Devon? Yes. When I die,
it’ll be your fault. You’ll have to go to
my mother’s door with a folded American flag and say, “Thank you
for her service. I’m Devon,
your daughter’s killer.” Look, I’m really sorry
about the bread. I swear, I will make sure
that your meal is nut-free. Thank you so much. Okay. Uh, so our
specials tonight. I think
I know what I want. Oh, yeah, me too. What do I want? What doIwant? I’ll have– I’ll have the nut–
Oh, no. The arugula salad. I’ll have
the arugula salad. Are there nuts
in that? No. (sighs) But I will triple-check. Nice job, Devon.
Thank you so much. Thank you. Aw, he’s sweet. Two arugula salads. Are there any nuts
in those? Nope. Great. ♪ (girls screaming) No! (shrieking) No! No! What did we say?! What did we say?! Everything all right here? No!