By Adem Lewis / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

*reads text on screen* *still reading* *subtitle goes here* *again text on screen* Welcome to the Kill Count, where we tally up the victims in all our favorite horror movies! I’m James A. Janisse (it said James Agent East in the auto-captions xD) And today were looking at Jigsaw, currently the latest film in the Saw franchise, having come out just last year in 2017. Jigsaw comes after a 7 year gap in the franchise, and was written by newcomers Josh Stolberg and Peter Goldfinger Directed by the Spierig Brothers, It has a decidedly updated look to it. Instead of feeling trapped in the mid-2000s, like the original Saw films, It’s much more polished in terms of cinematography and lighting. Unfortunately, for those of us who relished in the soap opera storytelling of Saws 1 through 3D, Jigsaw doesn’t pick up that torch to carry It’s sort of a soft reboot of the series with the only returning Character besides Billy the puppet being John Kramer himself played by Tobin Bell who is once again the best part of the movie? But it’s not a hard reboot because everything we saw still took place It’s a little confusing and the movie gets ambitious with how much it tries to do But unfortunately, it’s big twist is weighed down by bigger plot holes and a major retcon That doesn’t jive with what we know from the first second sauce with all that being said How does jigsaw stack up in terms of kills? Let’s find out and get to them Driver dirty Edgar here takes off on foot and winds up on that roof from the room Maybe to sell Denny some drugs this dude detective Halloran shows up and regards Edgar like an old friend Edgar Edgar What the fuck he doing but Edgar just tells Halloran and this other detective Keith honked that a game has begun He says he has to pull the trigger on this device to save his own life So he does and gets his hand shot off by the police elsewhere We see a digital timer start in a room with five chains leading out of the wall Although Halloran told this men to aim for the trigger. It looks like one of them shot Edgar in the chest Luckily Edgar still has enough breath to say it started and lead us into a title card high-tech, baby ready player Jigsaw, that timer we saw hits zero and some lights. Come on waking up a bunch of bucketheads Well all but the bucket head on the end there. He’s more like a Fucking head their wake-up routines are interrupted by the voice of John Kramer over a speaker He says these people haven’t accepted responsibility for the things they’ve done in life But if they can come clean about the lies, they’ve told they can win salvation Switch you free blessed be father jigsaw the first task he gives them is simple enough a blood sacrifice of any amount We’ll get those buckets off their heads and let them go further in the saw 5 style group trap the chains begin pulling them into the buzz saws on the wall even sleepy over there and although they resist at first one of them decides to take jigsaw at his Word and offer up a small blood sacrifice, it works that she’s debunking it So she spreads the good word to the others they all follow suit offering various amounts of blood either purposefully or Accidentally and their doors open up to pull them further along except for sleepy who’s just now Realizing how many times he hit the snooze button and despite some words of help doesn’t react in time to the blades before the others are all pulled into the next roof later a bunch of people in the park find a body hanging on display and when the bucket Top is removed by the police pathologist. We see that the head has been partially decapitated They also learn a little later that this dude’s name was Malcolm. So that’s why it’s on the list the pathologist’s RL short for eleanor a hip chick who likes to make puns peeks little pail and Logan Nelson who knows detective haunt from the Time they spent together serving in Fallujah when hunt sees Logan He says he’s sorry to hear about his wife Christine who was killed two years prior ruff time to bring that up since right now They’re dealing with a missing puzzle piece from Malcolm’s neck. Someone’s been studying up on John Kramer copycat Coconut cream has been dead for ten years confusing. Yeah, so maybe they can find more info on this USB Drive They extract from the womb the drive has a physical message edged into it saying and then there were four as well as an audio file on it that features John Kramer’s voice games becoming yeah after they identified the victim as malcolm logan remembers his name as someone involved in a crime that Halloran failed to get any Convictions for that’s not good polies right there They were on a voice analysis that confirms the voice on the audio file is in fact John Kramer’s what he came back from the dead wouldn’t be his first time what? Yeah would be he’s never been a zombie the trap plot quad finds themselves in a Hogan themed room and make introductions to each other There’s Mitch who likes to kick things Carly who was kidnapped while cosplaying Tiffany Valentine Ana who was the only one piecing together that they must all be there for a reason? And Ryan who says there’s nothing in his life. He should feel guilty about oh and there’s also Billy He’s just a simple puppet who wants to ride his tricycle? He wants to ride his trike and his eyes are all aglow at the thought of Catholic sacraments No, it’s not creepy at all Billy gives them his old puppet laughs and their chains Once again start retracting Mitch tries to stop it by confessing about a time He sold a kid a motorcycle and the kid died in a crash 10 minutes later But he denies any responsibility for Ana says she lost her baby when her husband mistakenly rolled over onto it during an Ave suffocating it But she’s got no may accomplice to give either Mitch is able to grab a tape player from Billy and it makes the chain stop Retracting on the tape jigsaw says that one of them is a thief who allowed a woman to die while they were snatching that purse I’ll go ahead and include that woman on the couch since you know She did and she died because purse snatcher Carly didn’t help her during an asthma attack Now it turns out Carly’s been injected with a poison and the tape tauzer it is you would die without the right Medication of the three needles in front of them one has the antidote another a saline solution And in the third freakin acid and not the Ken Kesey tie their chains will be released if they inject the right one But they all might die if they don’t that’s because the chain start up again going into the ceiling this time and all four of Them start to hang Carly is too scared to pick one of the needles for her cell So Ryan swings over and injects her with all three freeing everyone from their next shackles. That’s great news for all of them Except Carly who’s got a trio of needles in her neck her skin starts bubbling and then just kind of falls apart Completely and Carly falls to the barn floor from a ton of blood coming out her neck There’s a short argument about whether Mitch saved their lives or took Carly’s or cane almost dogs before Mitch finds a combination number inside one Of the syringes that opens the next door in their path in the new room despite a warning not to Ryan tries to break down An exit only to fall through the floorboards into a trap that wraps metal wires around his leg. Oh that’s gotta hurt There’s a tape under the floorboards, too And although it proves very risky to retrieve Mitch manages to pull through and get it out on the tape John Kramer Chastises Ryan for trying to take a shortcut and says the only way to be set free is to pull this lever Ryan surmise is that be set free means be free of half a win so he doesn’t want to pull it and lose his leg Barn goes dark and Mitch and Ana are led into a grain silo by a light door closes on them and a flat-screen TV comes Out with another monitor turning on NIR Ryan beneath the floorboard simulcast across both of them. It’s farmer Billy again And may I just say Billy? You’re looking real good in this movie talk about a glow up Billy says that now the lever is also the only way to save Mitch and Anna from what motherfuckin grain and golf meant a Terrifying way to die that actually kills a handful of farmers every year It really sucks, dude, but Ryan is still too afraid to pulverize his own lay So Anna and Mitch are buried up to their necks Which ryan sees on his subterranean monitor various sharp tools start raining down upon the pair of them But thankfully they’re being dropped by some storm troopers So pretty much all of the mess Ryan finally builds up the courage to pull the lever and just as expected the wires tighten around His leg and straight up trifer Kade It looks like a little leg sushi roll there sucks for him But there is some good news there next door opens and Mitch and Anne are freed Even though she nearly gets pitchforked in the face Let’s catch up with a bunch of cop plot stuff blood under the fingernails of that buck ahead body Malcolm are revealed to match the blood of a perp taken a decade ago. Who could that be? Hopefully the movie will spell it out for me look light under the fingernails of our first victim It’s John Kramer’s blood Wow. Never would have guessed. Jigsaw killer Yeah we know we know then a blonde acid body is thrown from the roof of the hospital with a note saying and then there were Three Logan shows Halloran and Hunt how the Vic was killed by hydrofluoric acid injected into her neck And they also find a puzzle piece carved out of her tongue. Oh shit. You know what? I forgot? What movie am I watching again? That’s right. Jigsaw. Just keep on telling me movie I’m sure it’ll stick eventually Halloran starts growing suspicious of Elinor because apparently she’s been visiting a website called. Jigsaw rule Which they disclose when they question Logan about her loan every website called jigsaw rules rule Logan tracks eleanor down at a bar to tell her that the cops are sniffing up her alley He also mentions that he fucking hates Halloran because he’s bad police and some suspects that he let go later wound up killing innocent people Including in one occasion a little girl who wound up on Logan’s autopsy table ellen takes logan to her quote-unquote studio which is more of a saw trap museum featuring recreations of favorites such as the cary cracker the Strom submerge, er And the I be gone gun thing Oh, and of course the OG RBT itself for most prized part of the collection though. Is this red spiral of death? Supposedly John Kramer designed this trap for a game that took place before all the others She bought the plans off the internet and recreated it Although Logan says she may have been duped since though jigsaw victims on record ever died from anything like this maybe they should fact check that with detective haunt who’s spying on them from outside with the camera ana wraps Ryan’s leg and tries to Cut off the blood flow with a belt while Mitch checks under the hood of a tractor to find a tape player with his name On when he hits play he’s ensnared in a rope that holds him upside down while John Kramer’s voice tells him that hey You know that kid who died in a crash on the bike you sold him. He was my nephew Yep, and Mitch had sold the bike as being in perfect condition, even though he knew the brakes didn’t work That’s why jigsaws nephew was killed in a nasty crash for the garbage truck. If only it hadn’t been garbage day Now the engine of that faulty bike is being used to power jigsaws death spiral tracks Same design as the one in else to do Mitch will have to skillfully Navigate between the whirring blades to reach the brake lever on the ground as he’s lowered down deeper and deeper into the spiral Ana tries To bypass the test by stopping the bike itself and she’s able to temporarily succeed with a metal rod through the tire But Mitch probably should have taken that opportunity to pull the brake lever because when the rod snaps the spiral starts back up and tears him to Pieces in a CGI twister of blood it spits his mangled body out on the floor leaving only to trap hot folk alive and one Of them is feeling as bad as Mitch looks okay well
Maybe not that bad Edgar Munson the dude shot on that rooftop in the beginning of the movie has been in a coma in the hospital But gets woken up with a substance injected into his IV and abducted by the unseen perpetrator when the cops go to dig up John Kramer’s body to make sure they’re not dealing with a Night of the Living jigsaw situation They find Edgar’s body instead with his throat good. It’s lit And of course a jigsaw piece Doubt of his cheat – we have a zombie John Kramer on our hands for real though with the pictures that hunt took of Eleanore Studio the cops have probable cause to bust into the place and see what they can find other than a bunch of killcount background props Maybe she’s just filming a YouTube video y’all Except they do find a mangled body like a Murphy bed with a note saying that there are only two trap ha players left on The stage Hunt picks up Logan and gives him a nice pair of bracelets to wear but Logan Insists that he and Eleanor are being set up and points the finger at hallorann Suspecting that he’s also the one who shot Edgar in the chest while everyone else was aiming at his hand It’s revealed that hunters with internal affairs and that I is indeed connected hallorann to multiple homicides over the years Logan offers to help hunt make a slam-dunk case against Halloran by matching the bullet in Edgar Munson’s chest to Halloran’s gun So they extract the slug and it does in fact match Halloran’s block. Yes Glock. They say go on their words not mine That’s a Glock 17c Logan goes back home where Eleanor shows up to tell him that she’s learned the location of the farm where the current game is taking Place she wants to head there with no cop so they can be the heroes of the day. Yeah, I’m sure that’ll go well
They head off not knowing that Halloran is following them back in the trap. Flaw Ana manages to break her way through a door to the outside, but right as she’s wriggling out she gets oh Pretty she wakes up with a shackle around one of her ankles across from her is Ryan with another shackle around You know his remaining ankle in between them is a hooded figure who’s revealed to be wait, Bob. God. That’s John Kramer’s music What the fuck what’s going on? What’s going on? Yeah, that’s what I said, dude You’re about to play a game Oh So same old same old John tells Ryan that he needs to fess up for the three deaths He’s responsible for Apparently alluding to a time when Ryan was a fuck-boy high schooler whose high speed drunk antics launched him from a moving vehicle that moving Vehicle ran straight into a another moving vehicle resulting in a huge double Explosion that killed Ryan’s two friends and the driver they collided with when Ryan finally confesses but says he wants to live Jigsaw says so does he but since some careless resident at his hospital Mixed up his name with another person’s on their x-rays His cancer wasn’t noticed early enough to be treated as for Anna Turns out she was John’s neighbor and in between making sketches of puppet tricycles and watching her domestic life dissolve he was somehow able to just Overhear the truth of what happened to their baby turns out Anna’s husband. Matthew didn’t smother the baby Accidentally instead after the he wouldn’t stop crying Anna smother the baby Intentionally with the pillow and planted the body next to her sleeping husband framin. Holy fucking shit. That is a dark turn. Jigsaw I’ve been rooting for this chick the whole movie why you gotta make me feel dirty like that in another dark turn after her husband Was blamed and taken away by authorities. He wound up hanging himself out of guilt. Good lord Can we go back to neo-nazis getting run over by cars instead of this heavy shit John wants them to assume responsibility For their actions, he says they’ve been doing everything backwards and need to turn it all around He’ll give them the chance to do so with one final test. Who’s your key to freedom? There’s one shell and there’s one shotgun. The rest is up to them, man I hate open-ended exams like this Anna and Ryan aren’t good at them either as they just assume that John wants them to kill each other and It grabs the gun first and aims it at Ryan preparing to earn her freedom and Ryan doesn’t realize until too late that jigsaw said they got it backwards as Anna pulls the trigger the Shotgun backfires into her face killing her with an accidentally self-inflicted gun Boom who would’ve thought that Ryan would be the last man standing in this trap. Whoa well
I guess standing is pretty generous as he’s only able to crawl over to the spent shotgun shell and discovered that the keys to their Ankle padlocks were inside of it John had put them there and been very literal with his words use your key to freedom But now the keys are totally fucked and Ryan has no other option than to roll onto his back and say he’s sorry Eleanor Logan Get to a farm that she says belonged to Jill tucks family So this must be the place? Halla ran follows them there and ignores a call from aunt who’s calling him from Halloran’s apartment should have answered that phone Hallie my man Maybe you could have explained the frozen skin jigsaw pieces hunt just found in your freezer Eleanor and Logan had inside and find all the used up game pieces of the traps. We’ve watched play out during this movie. It’s jigsaw Jigsaw is dead. Is he? Yeah, dude he has to be have you seen the beginning of sophomore but Eleanor claims that jigsaw lives forever through the work of his followers and That’s when they stumble upon the cone of death that shredded Mitch to a hoss Logan turns on Ellie and suspects her of being behind Everything but as she proclaims her innocence Halloran pops out and puts a gun to Logan’s head Logan puts his Marine combat skills to good Use and fights back as Eleanor runs away Halloran manages to knock Logan out and runs off to chase Eleanor But he loses her and winds up getting a needle in the back that knocks him out next thing You know both Logan and Halloran are waking up with some fancy metal bibs around their necks Logan immediately identifies as being freakin laser beams John Kramer’s voice comes over a speaker to tell them that they are the final two players of the Game and that the only way they’ll get out of these laser collars is if they confess to the crimes that put them there In response Halloran asks what we’re all dying to know. How are you alive? Jigsaw says they have a choice over who goes first and Halloran offers to do so But instead he hits the button in front of Logan which sends him back against the wall with the laser show on full force Logan confesses that he was the hospital resident who mixed up John Kramer’s x-rays and caused his cancer to be missed until it was too late
But apparently that confessions not enough and the lasers close in on Logan’s head causing blood to go everywhere and for him to collapse to the ground and It’s Halloran’s turn to be up against the wall with the laser shooting out of his collar into the ceiling above He starts admitting various corrupt cop shit that he’s done and after confessing that innocent people died because of him the lasers turn off That’s when he notices something fishy while his ceiling is all charred and laser The one above Logan spot is not Logan gets up from the ground in a very saw one John Kramer type way and shows that His lasers were as harmless as a housecat plaything and that the blood we just saw came from a bunch of capsules lining the inside Of his collar he reveals that he’s been the new jigsaw this whole time that he’s gonna frame Halloran with the audio recording He just took of his confession Confused Yeah, that’s okay This movie’s twist is pretty damn extra Logan explains that ten years ago in this very barn a game was played He illustrates this point by unveiling a couple of decade old bodies those of Anna and Ryan So now we can add Ryan to the cop turns out he was left in the barn to bleed to death after Anna messed up their keys by firing vishakha bomber and yes Just to be clear the main trap pot of this movie took place 10 years ago and was set up by John Kramer back then when he was still alive just ignore the flat-screen TVs and the high-tech Billy glow-up eyes during those scenes or you know, Don’t call that shit out It’s a major plot hole Logan had actually been part of that game put there because of the fatal x-ray mix-up that messed up John’s chances at life He was the sleepy bunkin head that we saw get left behind in the first room as the other trap flop Participants moved on to hang out at the hoedown I guess right after that happened John Kramer emerged from a wall panel to save Logan and free him from the trap what John decided? I shouldn’t have to die over an honest. Yeah, okay. Are we talking about the same John Kramer? Cuz in the same movie he condemned Ryan to death for what was also a mistake But okay now 10 years later Logan has recreated that same jigsaw game with criminals that were set free by Halloran He made it identical except that he only had three participants with himself and Halloran Filling in for the final two and since we’re being shown this revelation, I can finally square up the kill count that Malcolm, dude They found still counts since he was the replacement for Logan in this recreation but the acidified blonde corpse thrown from the roof wasn’t actually Carly it was this chick who just kind of looked like her and was given the same choice Apparently so she died in the same manner at heard of the list and the mangled corpse they found in else studio wasn’t actually Mitch It was this other guy who apparently it was put in the same exact situation as Mitch and died in the same exact way throw Him up there as well Logan is ultimately targeting Halloran because he had protected Edgar Munson from jail time Since Edgar was his informant Why is that such a big deal for Logan Oh because Edgar is the one who killed Logan’s wife a couple years prior so Logan Probably enjoyed it when he stood on a rooftop in that opening scene and sniped Edgar in the chest during the autopsy scene with haunt We see that Logan just pulled the old redis switcheroo to swap in Halloran’s Bowl a sneaky bastard he also grabbed John Kramer’s blood from the evidence Locker to put under Malcolm’s fingernails used old audio files of John Kramer’s tapes to Reconstruct his own jigsaw messages dan planted those fleshy jigsaw pieces and Halloran’s freezer to framin Best of all, he’s got a solid alibi in the form of Eleanor got away to tell the tale honestly for me It seems like an over-the-top twist Especially when it’s revealed that Logan has been a jigsaw accomplice this entire time for Gordon before Amanda before Hoffman all the way back to when he was building that first reverse. Bear trap. I don’t know It just seems unlikely to me after Logan reveals all this to Halloran He activates the laser collar and it closes in on Halloran’s head killing him by splitting his head into eight pieces So when he falls to the ground on his knees straight up blossoms into a demagogue N’ as this corpse falls to the floor Logan closes the door with the infamous jigsaw catchphrase I speak for the dead Oh, no actually dude. The line is game over you want to take it again? No, that was it. How’s the movie? Okay, let’s just get to the numbers Yeah, oh fuck Whatever 16 people died in jigsaw a respectable second place in the series, especially without a Hoffmann aider The victims included 10 males for females and two victims of a determined engenders That’s the car driver in the crash and and his baby which by the way sucks to have a baby out one of these things That comes out to this pie chart of genders and with the runtime of 92 minutes We had a kill on average every five point seven five minutes I’ll give the golden change the coolest kill to Halloran. I guess the effects aren’t great But I just can’t figure out who else I would give it to you and besides how often do you have freaking laser beams slicing? A head like a pizza pie to all machete for lamest cable will go to as milady lots of contenders for this one But nothing’s worse than dying in the street like that mere feet away from an inhaler Platinum punji stakes for coolest rap will go to the bucket head tramp. Yeah, it’s a super simple one And yes, this movie has a bunch of cool traps But this one became instantly iconic because of its simplicity with five faceless humans being drawn towards a wall of spitting sauce rusty mousetrap The lamest trap will go to the chain hanger strap just because of that massive loophole where anyone could eject all three syringes into someone Else to pass it and since jigsaw is a new name for one of these movies It doesn’t need a personalized subtitle and besides I’m never gonna top that last one. So that’s it Jigsaw was released in 2017. And another saw sequel is already being planned But until that comes out, I’m James age at ease. This has been the killcam. Thanks a lot for watching. Today’s kill cap I won’t thank a couple of patrons like James Bell and minions icon. We’re done with the saw series I did it fucking did it. I did it Billy. I fucking did it. I fucking did it Billy to finish it I did it I did it I did I didn’t do it What’s next you’ll find out on Friday. It’s not Halloween. Did me good people I did it

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