Well, Mr. Watson, we have your
lab results back. And, well… You’ve got Norovirus, hepatitis, tendinitis,
syphilis, and salmonella, sickle cell,
a rash; we don’t know what it is; and toxoplasma, super asthma,
better go call Make-A-Wish. You haven’t got much longer and I
haven’t finished half my list! Your brain’s arthritic, blood’s
acidic, dick hole trickles pickle juice, Your pancreas is gangrenous, my God!
Please never reproduce! You’re seizure prone and every bone
inside your body’s cancerous. Your joints go backwards, and I
lack words to explain how bad this is! Except for these words! Your taint’s inflamed, your anus
sprained, your every vein is
clogged with plaque, Your spine’s a wreck, your throat’s
infected from your neck down to
your crack! And all your poop is filled with lupus, All your shit is out of whack! Your heart’s diseased and full of
bees a single breeze could end your
measly- Life, and also measles, weevils, fecal beetles fetal, Alcoholic syndrome, chronic symptoms common to medieval people Your nose is blown, your back is thrown Your cells have unknown chromosomes, and kidney stones, and loads of Crohns, and toenail cheese, and pubic fleas, and leaky knees, and athlete’s foot, and truckers butt, one twisted nut, your liver sucks, with any luck, you’ll kick the bucket soon enooooough, Also you’re deaf!