Narcissistic Abuse: An Unspoken Reality (Short Documentary)
28
August

By Adem Lewis / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /


I’m listening to you and i have all these things happening inside of me and I keep thinking “You don’t have what I have.” These feelings are like a fucking volcano right now for me. I enjoy inflicting pain on people. I am a sadistic narcissist. So very often I will externalize my internal aggression in order to… kind of… enjoy the effects on people. People are good, and they don’t deserve to be hurt. They don’t deserve to be treated that way. And that you see vulnerability and you pounce on it like a fucking lion on a gazelle Is wrong! The person with NPD, the root of their NPD is a highly traumatic, highly painful environment. Usually childhood. And it usually forms between two polarities where the child is being overtly abused and neglected and then also being spoiled in some way. That is also boundariless. So you might have an abusive father and then an apologetic, guilt-ridden mother. The father abuses and the mother overcompensates for the child. Is that child then gonna spend the rest of their life experiencing huge amounts of anxiety and depression? Yes. I have the most extreme form of narcissism. Narcissistic personality disorder. Where there is a total disruption, there’s total emotional dysregulation; emotions are inaccessible. Perhaps because they are threatening, but they are inaccessible. So I don’t emote. I have no emotions whatsoever, except a few negative emotions. Such as anger or envy, or to some extent, hatred. When I started realizing all this mess was about two years ago when I started having problems with my husband, and I just didn’t quite understand why. I’ve been trying to do everything I’ve been taught. Why is it not working? We went to a therapist in the hopes of making our relationship better. I had to push for that. She mentioned to me: “Your husband is a narcissist, and you are a codependent.” And I was like…What? What is that? Well, you know narcissist is all upon themselves. Well like yeah… And codependents… I never heard codependency before, that word. And So I went online I put into a search engine, “codependency” because she mentioned that I was a codependent and then I found out about codependency and later I start finding out about narcissism. I’m a narcissist so my main motivation is what is called “narcissistic supply”. Essentially, attention. Narcissistic supply is a fancy name for attention. I’m also getting money, but that’s a secondary consideration. Narcissistic supply (attention) is what I use to regulate my sense of self-worth. My sense of self-worth, as opposed to normal people or healthy people. fluctuates constantly, it’s labile, it goes up and down. And when it’s down, it’s very down. So I need to regulate it, I need to stabilize it by having people telling me that I am as fantastic, as grandiose, as omniscient, as omnipotent, as brilliant, and as perfect as I imagine myself to be. (seminar attendee): Do you think that people have to compliment you because you do feel that you are superior actually? I believe that you believe it. I believe that you believe it. *quietly*: What does it mean? However, it is completely irrelevant to me what you believe. They are addicted to attention, adulation, adoration. You have to look up them. And you do, because they are really wonderful in the beginning. You are just blown away. “This is the best man I’ve ever known.” And then they become your worst nightmare. What you are doing is you are giving them what they need. They give you what you want, which is this like “Cinderella-dream” thing. And then, what’s happening is that they can make you addicted to this love bombing thing. And then, the mask falls, because they feel “Oh, I got her, I can chill now. I can relax. I can let me be myself”. They call it the mask. Now, the mask starts to fall, and you start to see these cracks. And they start to slip up. “Oh, I don’t want to go with your family to dinner. Who wants to meet your family?” “Your friend is an asshole.” And they start to criticize things in your life that are important to you because they feel threatened by it because they have to overpower you and control everything that’s important to you. They take it as a criticism if you counter anything they say. It’s a bad idea doing anything to a narcissist that threatens their hyper-idealised self-image because they will punish you very severely. You can be punished by a narcissist simply for existing without needing them. They can find that threatening. You can be punished by a narcissist simply for saying politely “No, I don’t wish to do that.” It’s an extremely cruel internal world in which they live. Which is why that cruelty is mirrored outwards to their victims. My then-boyfriend had tried to kill me more than once. I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand this was all a game. And I didn’t understand it was a really dangerous game. “By force or by guile, you will play this game with me or I will destroy you and kick you out my little world.” I had a car, and he jumped into my car, and he came in. I don’t know why I Iet him get into the driver side. And we started to drive towards the Brooklyn Bridge, and he told me he was gonna run us off the bridge and kill us. That was the first time I had ever bagged for my life. It’s a haunted house. The narcissist personality is a haunted house, so you need ghostbusters, not therapists. In order for me to live a life where I’m abusing people without ever being wrong. How is that? You have to have a truly insane psychotic level of a break with reality and you are constantly ducking and diving… they are like ninjas, like psychological ninjas trying to dodge the laser beams of responsibility. Where somebody would say… “Hey, that doesn’t even make sense. How could you be…?” If the person (the target) was a perfect idealised version on Monday, how could they be devalued on Friday? “That means you are wrong.” “Well, I’m never wrong.” For me, I’m a sucker for love. LIke a love addict. It becomes a toxic love because once they are done love bombing you, they’re secure in you and know that they have you, that’s when it turns around. They begin to abuse you, take advantage, hurt you, verbally assault you, rage on you, cheat on you, do all kinds of things to destroy you. And by then, you’ve become addicted to this “golden period” and hoping to get it back. “What have I done? How can I get that love back?” That’s not real love. Real love doesn’t just treat you like crap after they’ve treated you well. It passes time and with a narcissist, it’s not like that. The NPD goes through a sense of shame and failure that they didn’t manage to maintain that source of supply; because they were left. They will go through rage (narcissistic rage) because that person had the temerity to leave them. Somewhere in there, I’m pretty sure there will be just plain old, boring, standard, common-or-garden, to the narcissist this is all incredibly insulting, sadness. The sadness of a mere mortal who simply misses their mate. That that leaks through, will be countered in the narcissist’s self by huge amounts of rage and huge amounts of self-loathing. “How dare they make me feel sadness?” “How dare they make me feel a human emotion?” So their rage to their victim will become even stronger. Their shame and their determination to never let this happen again will become stronger. They will actually become more abusive through the experience. Whereas a neurotypical person, when we grieve, when we feel sadness, you can become more humble. You can become more open. You can become more compassionate to other people. Not so for the NPD. I would map the person, and then if I’m so inclined, inclined to inflict pain, then I would push highly specific buttons. Penetrate through highly specific chinks, through highly specific routes to reach the core and inflict, usually pretty substantial, damage. I felt that she has tried a lot of techniques to sort of push my buttons, to make me panic. She was trying to create a situation where she can make me react and confuse me and maybe draw me back in. Or something. And I think she has tried a lot of things. She used finances, she used where we staying. All these things. And now the children are coming into the situation, I can feel it. I think she can do something with the children. And I don’t know how far she can go. But I wouldn’t be surprised if she did something totally crazy. Had I grown up in a functional, functioning family with functional parents and so on and so forth. I think I would have been a delightful kid and a happy adult. I operate at 10% of my capacity because I have to dedicate 90% to futile pursuits such as obtaining supply. Such as coping with my rage. Such as regulating my sense of self-worth, my ups and downs. Such as coping with my mood disorders and with my lability. It’s depleting to be me. It’s depleting. It’s energy consuming and there’s nothing left there for creativity, for happiness, for interrelatedness, for having a good time. Nothing is left there for this. When I met my husband he was a sex toy designer, of all things, right? I met a person that is, oh wow, super open with sexuality. He wants to be intimate. When he moved with me, a couple months before moving in with me he started rejecting me sexually from one day to another. That was his point of control, because he knew that was my trauma. My trauma was having been with a previous man who rejected me sexually, too. And that takes a hit in your self-esteem. A regular person who doesn’t have all these issues with intimacy, they can just hold you. Anytime it’s with a narcissist, there’s a physical distance, it becomes a power trip. The closeness scares them so bad that they will do anything to get away from you after. It is such an awkward feeling to be a woman or a man and feel this rejection. After all that matter that you tell them that they are good lovers. Anything that happens to you is utterly–and I want you to understand, I’m using the I’m using the word “utterly” judiciously. Utterly alien to me. Utterly. I have no more mentally in common with you; then I have with a, let’s say, with a long-necked giraffe. They have an internal judge; we call it an inner critic or psychiatry would call it the superego. That is saying “are you doing a good job of garnering narcissistic supply and maintaining the god-like false image or are you failing?” And they are either succeding and appeasing the angry god, or they’re failing. And it makes them feel absolutely worthless. Their anxiety is, and I don’t think it’s too much to say, purely abandonment anxiety. Their depression is purely narcissistic depletion. What I call love is a combination of, actually fear, fear of abandonment and fear of losing supply and disintegration. Coupled with… kind of gratitude to the source for maintaining me. The red flags of narcissistic abuse are something you feel, rather than see. The interaction with the person will lead to a sense of anxiety, and a sense of potential danger. Even though you can’t see the danger. And a kind of self-doubt. Where you’re going “hm, this seems to this way, but they are saying this, but it makes me feel different to what they are saying”. They could be telling you something nice and paying you a compliment, but somehow you feel threatened. They could be saying that they are doing something for you, making a sacrifice for you, and yet you feel ripped off. You feel conned. So if you outright take revenge on them, deliberately make an effort to take revenge on them, they will make a project of you. They will make a project of punishing you. I have no home because he promised me to… “Baby, don’t get a home because you’re gonna be getting one with me, so you don’t have to.” So when I fly back from this trip to London, I am going back to no home. He ruined my life. If one were to decide to take revenge on a narcissist, to be so foolish. What one would need to do would be to shift from the prey mindset to the predator mindset. This is an alien way of thinking to the codependent. Totally alien. If you seek revenge, dig two graves. And that’s very true. The only thing you can have with prolonged contact with a narcissist is insanity. You will go insane. If you do it for years on end, you will become as sick, in a different way, as the NPD personality. You will have a complete traumatic break with reality. I would really wanna rip him physically apart little by little. Maybe that’s because what it feels like that he had been doing. Like skinning. Layer and layer. I always say that for you to be a decent human being in Nazi Germany would have required you to have therapy. Because it was a psychopathic society. And that would have meant that being decent is a maladaptation. “You are sick! If you’re decent, something is wrong with you.” I’m redundant to a narcissist. They don’t need me. We could sit here and inside of five minutes come up with multiple ways of exploiting vulnerable people. If we chose to, if we were sick and psychopathic, we could do that. We don’t need to sit through a 2-day seminar to do that. The only people who need to sit through a 2-day seminar are those who are looking to heal, because that’s difficult. Abusing people is extremely easy. I think, all in all, we are a very bad mistake. Catastrophic and critical mutation. Which is, frankly, overtaking the gene pool, the white house, and other places. You should seek to have as little contact with them as possible. And I mean, little, literally. Whatever communication you have with them. If you send them a text, less words are better. If you have to speak to them, less words is better. If it’s a phone call, make it a shorter phone call. I’m not being facetious or pedantic. Any and all communication and any and all information you give is ammunition and it will all be used or could be used against you at a later date. Diminish contact as rapidly and as fully as you possibly can. My 36 years, I have to cut them and start from zero basically but now with all this and with the knowledge that I have… I think it puts me into a place where I can… I know now. I need to come out of the situation. And like I said, the only thing holding me back is…How do I do that carefully and causing less stress for the children? And then how do I maintain a good relationship with them? I’m in denial. I can’t have the good without the bad. And I just need to heal and recover and eventually… I have faith that God will send me a normal person. Healthy, I hope! I help people to diagnose what narcissistic abuse is; it’s effect, help them to heal from it so they walk away from the subject. I don’t want them on forums in ten years time obsessing over NPD. I want them to go and live their lives and move on.


100 thoughts on “Narcissistic Abuse: An Unspoken Reality (Short Documentary)

  1. THANK YOU DEMONS FOR TEACHING ME THAT YOU ARE NEVER WORTH MY TIME.
    YOU WILL NEVER GET CLOSE ENOUGH TO EVER HURT ME EVER AGAIN

  2. My adult daughter is a narcissist. My ex (who is bi-polar) never refused her anything. She was the golden girl. I am unable to have an adult relationship with her. It makes me so very sad. I babysat her large puppy dog 5 mos for 10 days. Lovely dog, but he drained me with his antics, long walks, dogpark visits, special food I made for him, two baths, etc. I found several foxtails and burrs in his paws, and trimmed the foot pads and then pulled them all out. They were very tangled in that matted hair.

    I drove 45 miles each way to pick him up and drop him off. The puppy dog was shiny and clean, and so well cared for. First words out of my daughter's mouth was, "You trimmed his feet! I told you not to trim anything on him! You betrayed my trust! I will never let you have my dog again!" In fact, she had begged me to take him in the first place. Free dog sitting and I saved the dogs life. Those foxtails were deeply embedded in the skin. She stormed off with the dog, who kept looking back at me since I spent more time with him than she did. I had not seen my daughter in months, and had just done a ton of unpaid work for her prior to this. I watched her and the dog walk into the distance, and felt my heart would just break. I could not even say goodbye to the dog who was just a pup and so confused. I could see her using a child in the same way against me.

    I felt so disturbed by this. What did I do to create a child like this? I think her father spoiled her rotten, and since we were divorced, I had no say over this. Like a knife in my heart. I feel broken by the loss of my child. She is gone forever. This much I know. There is no way she will every change. She breaks everything. Her dog, her love life, her own body as well, since she has cancer now. I think this rage eats into her. So much work polishing the little gems that became my successful children. Now to see her in this broken personality state. Life is cruel.

  3. "[Narcissists are] like psychological ninjas trying to dodge the laser beams of responsibility"… Holy shit! I have NEVER heard it described so accurately! Brilliant!!

  4. "They can be saying something nice, and you feel threatened." Exactly. Do not ever seek revenge, it is not worth it. However, if you switch your mindset to self-protection, which every narc does all the time, you may be able to succeed in escaping and healing. What does that mean? Well, that means you compile evidence of their abuse and debauchery regardless of the narc's whining and accusing you of betraying them. It is not revenge to protect yourself, and the only way to do that with a narc is to have SOMETHING that will hurt them. You don't have to use the evidence and hurt them over it. It helps A LOT in keeping a narc in line during an escape.
    I compiled folders both material and digital, sent it to multiple sources online that could never be found and destroyed., and then let him know what I had in an ambiguous and threatening way, so he would believe 100% that even if he hurt me, even if he killed me, and even if he convinced every person on the planet that I was the crazy lunatic he portrayed me to be, that information on him would live on.
    At one point. before I got him out a year ago on a restraining order, I knew he was trying to sniff out my ammunition against him, and I looked him dead in the eye and said, "I have sent every text, every picture, every statement, every bank account record to other emails and friends. I couldn't even erase it all if I tried, so there is no way in hell you will ever get them all. And most importantly, other people have been sent the same, so you could kill me and it still won't change anything. You can get that zipdrive or find that cloud account and hack it (which he did), and it will still not go away."
    I am pretty sure that if I hadn't done that, I would not be sitting here today. He killed my cats., sabotaged the brakes on my vehicle, and abducted my dog, deactivated her microchip and took her tag. Luckily I got my baby pooch back, but only because I texted him right when she vanished and told him I know he did it. And, he was supposedly at work at the time, but I also got the phone records from that time and for some reason he was hotspotting to his phone when his work has WiFi.
    I am not encouraging fighting a narc. But the narc will fight you. At least get some kind of ammunition, keep it hidden, and record or write down every fucking thing. It may save your life, even if you don't have to use it. Nothing is more valuable to a true narc than his ability to gain supply. THey know that if they are exposed, especially in this day and age of social media, that it will hinder their supply sources. I use it. But I am not out of the woods yet. But I don't think I would be this far without gathering shit on him, and letting him know, it will not end with me. If something happens to me, that shit will be a nail in his coffin. At least I have that.

  5. When your 16 until ur late 20's I can honestly say I didn't know what was wrong with him!!! I just knew something was wrong!! With me and my son that was true, I would try to mend the abuse between us all!! The perfect image, when my world was a shit show!!😖 It has been the hardest 11 years of my life, and I believe my mom and step dad were all also Narcs!!

  6. Hey, when I left my husband after 7 yrs 1/1 2012 with my life I searched and found Sam Vaknin and listen to him for 8 hrs that help me so much I sought help after. I am still healing, Now 7-1/2 yrs later Thank you 2019! All this is true -rip -the part of life with him/that. ….

  7. I recall when I first saw this-it was so validating that I wasn’t alone. I’d been married to a covert for two decades, who’d nearly destroyed me, and after the divorce, fell for an overt who defrauded me. Female narcs, I believe, are more dangerous and they’re everywhere.

  8. It's good that this video is available. I once worked for a seriously narcissistic film producer. She was slyly abusive to anyone who did not fit her idea of perfect: A blonde, young pretty girl or guy. Everybody else was bait or fair game unless they were famous, rich or influential in the film world. She had a daughter who had tried to commit suicide more than once. At the time, before I worked for the woman on a day to day basis, I couldn't understand that. But then I became extremely knowledgeable about this type of personality. She gave me "idiot" work to do that took days, just because she didn't like me. She didn't like me because I didn't compliment her or show unending admiration every hour of the day. When I once let her know that her hem on a skirt was torn she gave me more shit work to do than I can even describe. Her other daughter was my very best, closest friend for four years, to the extent that we saw each other every single day. When I told the daughter what her mother had been doing the daughter cut me off without a word. That was almost 30 years ago. I reached out to her a few months ago but she wouldn't speak to me. Narcissism in families is incredibly destructive and reaches many members, affecting not just the one who is narcissistic.

  9. I am moving forward finally with a restraining order followed by divorce with my 5 year old involved. Poor baby, if anyone has advice, I’d really appreciate it. It’s been hard, listening to Lisa Romano, Ross Rosenberg, George Simon along with Joe Dispenza, Bill Lipton among others to reprogram my f’d up Brian. Rich, may I call u Dick?(dad’s name:) you’re really doing something special!

  10. Prayer helps a lot! A friend of mine was terribly abused by a sociopath/ narc. She prayed everyday that God would take him . After 10 years of her being abused , the a hole dropped dead

  11. They are evil, self loathing, creatures. If they weren't so pathetic it'd be funny. It is NOT FUNNY, they aren't very intelligent, they never have original thought, they parrot shit.

  12. As soon as she wouldn't stop calling herself a choleric while labeling me as a melancholic I knew there was something wrong.

  13. I felt being cheated and abused but i needed to make sure my instincts were true until i was referred to a hacking company  who took care of the hack job. They hacked him, I’m glad i had a proven truth that he was cheating. Contact them if you need help on Prohackers24hrs .com

  14. It's so funny to me how narcissists perpetuate this "you'll die if you expose me" or "you can never outsmart a narc" agenda. Its crap, they are master manipulators but can be defeated with facts, hard evidence, courage and consistency. Keep journal and evidence in case you ever have to go toe to toe with one of these demons.

  15. Funny for that piece os garbage saying that about Trump…Goes to show they are on opposite sides…Thank you for that!

  16. This is exactly like the toxic relationship i was in. I had to flee the country to finally get away from him. The man who is open about his narcissism is just like my ex. He openly admitted to being narcissistic like was proud of it, saying stuff like “I’m narcissistic because I AM a king. I AM a genius. I AM better than any man you will ever meet.” In his mind narcissism was a god given quality reserved only for the greatest men. When that man kept saying “I believe that’s what you believe” to the woman trying to ask a question, shivers went down my spine. Idk how many times I heard those exact words from my ex. We never had a single productive conversation. He refused to have anything but a one sided conversation or he’d become angry. I’m stronger now though. I’m married to a kind and humble man and will soon be welcoming our first baby. He will never know what it is like to be in a truly loving healthy relationship. The only love he will ever know is the love he has for the person he thinks he is. In that way, I pity him.

  17. My manager did that, when I started to drift I was let go. But then I was in deep depression for losing all that the attention I had gotten along with being a punch bag in which I thought she is going through problems and I must be at mistake or she'll change.

  18. I have a lifetime of NARC HUSBANDS 3 they got wkrse worse over a 30 yr period. I went to outpatient therapy for 4 mos for coda and am in recovery but not able to trust or be even attracted to men anymore i have my big doberman now thank god

  19. I'm dealing with this. He dumped me in May and came back in July. I made the mistake of responding to his text after 15 days. I was honestly going back and forth with if I would respond. I shouldn't have because I had worked really hard during may and June to forget about him. Made great headway, then he contacts me back, friend-zones me and then I become a wreck. I now have texted him today, because he did the silent treatment after initially contacting me. He responds and treats me like an associate and there goes the trigger. It never ends.

    I'm thinking of changing my number. I don't know if that will help me. I want to forget about him. I want him out of my mind.

    I want this to all stop now. When he came back he never even apologized or mentioned the breakup. I'm so emotional right now.

  20. I can relate to all of this because my so called biological parents are like this and
    I have ADHD and I have Minor mental retardation or do I have MMR or is it a lie ?

  21. Its alot easier to stand up for yourself and start to move on when you know what you're dealing with…I went for over 22 years before I realized he had this problem…and everything makes way more sense…I know it's not a diagnosis but I know enough about psychology/psychiatry to know I can only heal my side in this situation…and I feel like I can deal with him better til I make my escape!! I'm only 2 weeks away and I get to start over!! Yea!!!

  22. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here and making this knowledge available to me. I have been learning so much and never thought anyone could understand. This is changing my life. Growing pains are better than love bombs!!!

  23. Richard …. you and others, including Sam lol have saved me.
    If not for you, Kim Saeed, Meredith Miller and more, I would still be living in what was an empty and dark world.

  24. 5:19 dude fuck that shit, self absorbed cowardly bitch excuse of a human…they are parasites, let them fucking starve to death…GTFO and live YOUR OWN FUCKING LIFE

  25. 15:47 anything you give them is was and forever will be ammo for them to use against you. they will never change. more importantly, they have always been that way. GTFO.

  26. Hi Richard. Just wanted to drop you a line as you were one of the few English people that started talking about NPD. I only found about it after I left my abuser a couple of years ago. I have had different sorts of concealing but nothing helped. As you may know finding a NPD specialist is like a mission impossible. I just wanted to thank you for opening my eyes to what was really happening to me. I was unable to prove anything in the court as the judges on the day decided that a fact finding hearing wasn’t going to help them. (The Narc was fitting to take my children of me). So after the hardest fight i have to coparent with him. My heart is broken into peace’s and words can not describe what I am feeling. Did this really happen? I do get to wonder…

  27. Stay prayed up!! That is the way to heal!! Put God first in your life, let his voice be the one your listening to. This to shall pass, it will….😇💖

  28. This is what ems gems has done with help use my own world to twist and bully be . She is a narcissist sociopath !!! I am broken 2 years of it … calling her out of her fake cancer !!! And all the other crap .. and yes it is true. Fighting back don’t work ! It makes it worse . I am alone . I said I was leaving now a place that i thought I would fit in , but all I found was groups of narcissistic pepole , who run the venerable down and beat them till they can’t take any more …. i have wanted to kill myslf , and last night I have panic attackes. Please watch. Ems gems. You will see there is no emotion. Just plain as she makes up lies and half truths twisting them …. i am lost and broken … I will go back to being alone at least I never felt tnis way like I am some awfel person. Because I am not … I have watched you and others to know who she is , but I am not start enough to fight back I just make it worse .. yes I make dolls . It’s art so please don’t Judge me . It’s theropy for me . As I do suffer From depression and axyity….. I was her target and I did not see it coming … now. Pepole i cared for attack me with her … all narcissistic .. I see that now . I have autism please help me I beg. She is a fake in every word.. I am alone .. I may end my life over this .. am dark now

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  30. My mother would never admit to being a narcissist. She is always right and nothing wrong with her. I'm the defective one

  31. this was a repeat of my 20 year marriage. now I know. giving more receiving less/time to liberate/I may lose my life as I know it/it will undoubtedly shift/but ultimately I will and am being liberated and I will be living in my truth

  32. Los Alamos New Mexico is one of the worst. The town is full of all these types. The community is hateful, bigoted, manipulative and homophobic. They do nothing but gossip and backstab everyone and it doesn't seem anyone is off limits, even their friends. The people don't seem to have any sense of conscience or loyalty to anything that really matter. Just a horrible, greedy little town.

  33. why is that woman crying? water off a ducks back and giving the narc exactly the reaction he wants. stupid woman.

  34. I wish I was informed/told about narcissism when I was young. Understand this, a narcissist is an impaired person. You wouldn't be upset with your grandma that has dementia and can't recall your name right? Or your grandpa that can't hear you because his hearing is impaired right? Or someone who is color blind and can't see the color red right? because they're impaired, follow? AND KNOW THIS!! a narcissist goes thru life as though they are playing the game show Survivor or like a Gold-digger. A narc thinks that if you are stupid/weak enough to let yourself be walked on or treated so terribly then it is your fault for letting them treat you so bad 🤯 (Read that again until you learn/got it) They will use you to move themselves forward until something or someone better that has more to offer comes along and/or when you are no longer any use to them (or you want to leave them) they will without remorse move on/away from you because they don't have (literally don't have) a love type attachment to you 😬. And we are shocked and hurt that we didn't mean as much to them, after all we've done for them, we wasted years and jumped through hoops due to their constant challenges for us to show we are worthy of them (sound familiar? like a Gold- digger 😬) So now that you know a narcissist is impaired… Don't take the hurtful terrible things they will say to you personally or as a truth ok? They are impaired they can't love and therefore won't be loved as I know how to love which is actually sad for them. They will say hurtful painful things (that aren't true so don't take them personally) to you because they expect to be worshipped by you, and you are no longer worshipping them, and they want to make you pay for your insolence, make sense? The narc is impaired, incapable of a loving attachment… Now you go be happy, be your best you, don't look or think back, and go love your awesome self and possibly go find someone who does know how to love you. Hope this perspective helps some people.

  35. When I was married to my sicko. Narc. I told him how happy I was that my roses are ready to. Bloom!!! Later I looked and the moron cut them down to 3 inch twigs!!! He told me he pruned them. With a evil smile!!! Ugh. Soo happy I'm free and. Want others not to suffer

  36. Great to see a narcissists point of view..very refreshing that he admits to it and accepts it and talks about it openly.

  37. You will have the whole picture soon about the narc networks following and harassing people called 'gangstalking' grown into an epidemic! Thank you!

  38. You dont have to destroy peoples lives just so YOU can keep yr narsassistic supply, thats pure evil! 👉 REPENT 👈

  39. I wonder if there is much information and support for children born to narcissists. Unfortunately for me and my siblings, my father is a narcissist…and a terrible one at that. We have begged for our lives on more occassions than we can count and sadly, one of my siblings did not make it out of that house alive. My mum and us have been traumatized all our lives and continue to be traumatized daily by this man who quite frankly has still shown no remoarse. We didnt even realise that he was a narcissist until we started going to therapy after my brother's death. My mum seems too traumatized to move away from him and I think in her mind, she feels she is protecting us by staying, yet we are all adults and living away from home…so we are stuck!!! The therapist suggested we look into narcisist victim syndrome to start to understand our situation better.

  40. It’s hard to believe the narcissists I knew (I knew two people who I think were narcissists) had been abused as children, because they never admit flaws in themselves or their lives.
    However, I completely understand why some of these people in your doc want to be censored because they punishment they inflict for revealing their truth on even a micro level is real. I am even afraid of leaving this comment and might delete it later.

  41. I hope this isn't me I have compassion on people that have been hurt or aren't doing well I do think I am but a fair assessment is needed because narcissistic people burn with pain and shame I have been hurt by narssacistic pastors I do have borderline though some traits here do apply I hope I can get help one day

  42. No One honestly deserves to be cheated on at any circumstance or be with a Narcissist or someone gaslighting them this is the reason why we have failed relationships last month I suspected my wife cheating on me a friend recommended an hacker to me on instagram @mikeswilfred I contacted him and he helped me get cheating proves by helping me hack her phone giving me full access to everything she does on her phone if you suspect your spouse cheating on you text/whatsapp him +15182175945 he would help you out he his so trustworthy and reliable

  43. Just some tech notes on video: subtitles in certain parts would enhance the viewers experience as audio is lacking clarity in parts. Good content.

  44. See how the gal was triggered by just knowing this information that some like to cause harm..She really needs to work on not being overly emotional when she learns information like this.

  45. Fluctuates constantly❗️
    Addicted to attention and adoration then you have to look up to them 🙄
    Wonderful at the beginning and then you’re just blown away, they gave what you want which is like cinderella dream thing until mask starts to fall❗️THEY HAVE NO LOVE TO OFFER

  46. I was adopted by people like this so I grew up around it. I have always been afraid I’ll be just like that with my future kids one day. I’m expecting my first in January and I am doing everything I can to not repeat the same cycle that gave me PTSD

  47. During our last argument I asked narc "Why would you want to be with someone who no longer loves you?" he replied "That's not of your concern, MY concern is that I really love you and you need to get better" implying that I was too mentally ill to make decisions without his input.

  48. Oh my God- biggest eye opener since I met my narcissist!! I kept wondering if he is doing things deliberately and came to the conclusion that he probably doesn't, he's just a wounded person going about trying to find love in all the wrong ways (not knowing what he calls love is not love). But oh my God, was I wrong!! I just couldn't fathom someone could be so deliberately cruel…Thanks so much to the NPD speaking up !!

  49. Took me 2 years but I am happier and free. Ex devil is doing the same thing to other women. Take care of yourself, this will pass, God is with us. Lots of love and be strong !

  50. You have helped so many people richard this video is heart breaking and I take my hat off to you …..you deserve a knighthood my friend

  51. Great video, very informative. My father had NPD. As a child I felt very guilty because I hated him. He did tremendous damage to my ego, my self esteem, caused horrible trauma that I am still dealing with more than 50 years later. He is dead now and I still hate him, and I don't feel guilty about it. I will always hate him for what he did to me and my siblings.

  52. Narcissists are trying to show people what happened to them as children they cannot escape the voices in their head of their abuse it went on for god-knows-how-long so they have to show you by making you feel what they feel, they feel it everyday they relive the abuse everyday they are still at the age of their abuse mentally and emotionally so you're not dealing with a grown-up you're dealing with a child who is still mentally fighting their abusers. All the other emotions that they feel 90% of it is negativity towards themselves they really hate themselves they've been trained to hate their self and they hate the fact that you as a normal person don't suffer the way they do you were not abused you were loved and care for something they will never experience. As adults they will never believe in love they will never believe in kindness they think everyone is lying to them this was their training as a child love is pain because when they were told they were loved by their caregivers pain followed and some form or another. So you cannot tell a narcissist I love you because they look at it as you saying I hate you.

  53. "by force or by guile you will play this game with me" THIS! When you realize that this is the narc's game (of abuse and destruction), it's time to pack up and never look back.

  54. I had TWO narcissistic parents and then a whole family full of them. It set me up for a lifetime of being battered brutally in every way possible. I’ve lost an eye, been in a wheelchair from extreme mental trauma (conversion disorder), been in atrocious living situations, jobs, with a alcoholic, sociopathic partner and more. It got me living in mental institutions and E.R.’s from constant suicide attempts. I was always an empath and I wouldn’t want to be a narcissist for anything. To inflict that much harm and pain on another living being is unthinkable to me. I still hope that they are somehow paid back for what they do to others. Ideally they should not be allowed to live in society and confined to mental institutions or jails.

  55. Amazing documentary!! Very honest and informative, I’m sure this will have helped a lot of people who’ve watched it!!!

  56. I dont think there is necessarily abuse in childhood. Extreme spoiling king baby or queen baby the golden child all entitled. That too is a possibility – in such cases there is no abuse.

  57. I had to move to another state, I packed my things in a few hours bought a uhaul and left him. As I left I was dying inside remembering the good times thinking I could possibly change him. It’s been 3 years and I’m healed but I cried and aloud myself to understand it’s not me it was him.

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