smoking lettuce. American blessings. // Auto-Tune the News #5

By Adem Lewis / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

The speech last year
in Berlin is only part of it… Wait a second, didn’t Barack Obrama
give this big speech in Cairo that the Middle East seemed to like? That’s… No, but I think
that’s exactly the problem. It’s not just the Berlin speech but
in Cairo he said: “Any world order…” He said: “Any world or–” Uh, I’m laying down a beat,
for you, keep going. Any world order that elevates
one nation over another will fall flat. Ah, snap! I think that goes against
the idea of American exceptionalism. Exceptional fast food
and exceptional dance moves. Most Americans believe that
this country was gifted by God, a blessed nation,
and that we are better. Yeah, we the promised land,
a sacred place, gettin blessed by Joe Biden from space!
(Ay!) God bless America! (Ay!) Gah-awd bless America! (Ay!) God bless, God God bless,
Goooood bless America!! (Ay-men!!!) Do you realize if you were
to take that lettuce, dry it, and roll it, and smoke it… I know, it tastes like goat shit. – You smoke your lettuce.
– Believe me, I’ve tried. You’re gonna end up
with similar problems than if you were smoking tobacco. I know, fo sho, you should try it
with tomato, burnin salad in my throat! Steve Buyer warning complacent Americans
about the risks of smoking lettuce. You can warn me all you want, but you’ll
never stop my leafy green fetish. It’s not the nicotine that kills!
It’s the smoooooke! The smooooooke. Cancers: it’s the smoke.
Heart disease: it’s the smoke. Respiratory disease:
it’s the smoooooooke! It’s the, it’s the inhalation,
it’s the smooooke, the smooooooke. If they wanna obtain
their nicotine, it’s okay. It’s the smooooooke,
the smooooooooooooke! The more produce we come across,
the more problems we see. Some companies say they’ve
received hundreds of applications for just a single opening. One man sent
a shoooooe to his prospective employer. Shawtayee, don’t you know
that Air Jordan was from meeee? I wore a long, white eyelet dress
and a floppy white hat and carried a walking stick. Oo-wee! Am I crazy,
am I trippin on shrooms? Or you singin bout pimpin
on the late night news? Katie Coo, baby boo,
you got swagga like a star. Don’t stop, real talk, we gon take it
to the charts! You can be… – Lady Gaga.
– I can be… – T-Pain.
– We can be… – Bringing on the boogie.
– Droppin rhymes like rain. – You can be…
– Lady Gaga. – I can be…
– T-Pain. Bringing on the boogie.
With floppy hats and pimp canes. We’ve got some breaking news. Let’s go to Tracy Burns,
she’s got all the news. Actually, Liz, I think you
wanna jump up to Robert. Tracy, baby, you crazy?
I don’t know what the hell’s goin on. Or where the camera belongs.
Let’s go to Nicole. – Me?
– Yeah, you. – Me?
– Baby boo. – Me?
– Whooo-ooooooooh. Me? Nicole don’t know;
let’s throw it to Joe. Uh, you know, I’m, uh,
tryna get a hold of this myself… Breaking news guys, um… I, I don’t have it, Liz, I have to
send it back down to you I’m afraid… Okay, that’s okay.
But the basics of it is… – Clearly, this is a fascinating story.
– Magical. That we’re gonna get all
into place in just a moment… As soon as we can get everything here. (bah bah bah… Ay!)
God bless America! (Ay!) Gah-awd bless America! (Ay!) Cancer: it’s the smoke.
Heart disease: it’s the smoke. Respiratory disease:
it’s the smoooooooke! It’s the, it’s the inhalation,
it’s the smooooke, the smooooooke. If they wanna obtain
their nicotine, it’s okay. It’s the smooooooke,
the smooooooooooooke!

100 thoughts on “smoking lettuce. American blessings. // Auto-Tune the News #5

  1. To THIS DAY the harmony part on "it's the smoooooke" during the C minor chord just astounds me. Never loses its magic, never will.

  2. Sometimes I'll still say "what the hells goin on?" to the tune of the line in this video, always one of my favorites!

  3. I remember watching this video 7 years ago, and occasionally I get the "it's the smooo-ooo-ooke" hook stuck in my head for random reasons. Glad I found this video again!

  4. Gotta say this is a great video. Love the Biden blessing segment, love the Katie Couric segment, and I gotta say the eyebrows on Evan are just captivating when he sings, especially during the vocal runs before throwing it to Joe. So expressive! And is it me or when he says bom bom bom after taking a bite out of the lettuce he has a look of terror on his face?


  6. I haven’t seen this since it was uploaded almost 10 years ago and completely forgot what it was called, but here I am 9 years later and I finally found it 😂😂😂 Dry that lettuce, roll it, and smoke it

  7. 1:45
    Uh, did anyone else notice that when describing her outfit, Katie's voice dropped significantly in the mix? It wasn't like that in 2010.

  8. Shit the company who own Retardia (us) will probably just bulldoze the people and put up a starbucks and walmart on it.


  10. (commenting on an almost 10 year old video)

    honestly though that guy has a great point about tobacco. Chewing tobacco, cigarettes, pipe tobacco, it's all subjected to high temperatures that create carcinogens. Nicotine in it of itself is not that bad. This is why vapes aren't as bad as cigarettes.

  11. It took me years but… but eventually comes out the guy was right. It's not the nicotine that kills. It really is "the smoke". I mean, it's actually the inhalation of what is produced from combustion.

  12. 9 years and I still keep coming back to watch this whenever I remember it. This video is a work of art. Magical.

  13. Does anyone have a link to that last news clip where they couldn't find the breaking news? I really want to see that for myself

  14. Wow. I remember being in middle school, being obsessed with ATTN (and schmoyoho as a whole), with this being my favorite of the ATTN series. Excitedly waiting for the newer ATTN episodes to come out. Seeing them go viral. Now I’m in med school and I still sing these to myself.

  15. “It’s not the nicotine that kills, it’s the smoke.” Tell that to the high school kids who are skipping class to go vape.

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