Sometimes It’s Not “Just Allergies”
10
October

By Adem Lewis / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /


– Ah, as you can see
month-over-month growth has been really strong. We actually outpaced the
board’s expectations. (sneezing) – I’m sorry. Must be allergies. (laughing) – It must be. I heard the pollen count’s
supposed to be crazy today. – Yeah. – Ah, anyway, at this
pace we can expect that our numbers will grow. (sneezing) (phone ringing) – Sorry, must be allergies. (laughing) – Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. – Um, like I was saying, this kind of month-over-month growth means that we can expect numbers
that are comparable to June 2015. – Lynn, your nose is (bleeping) bleeding. – Hmm, must be allergies. – Well, wipe it the (bleep), Lynn! Wipe up your (bleeping) leaky nose! I’m sorry! Must be allergies! (screaming) – I’m freezing cold but
I can’t stop sweating! (screaming) – Must be allergies. – Get it off me! – You have them! We all have them! – Yeah, we’re in a handy. – Must be allergies. (growling) – God dammit, I’m so hungry. – You’ve already had three sandwiches. It’s the last one. I want it! – Maybe I should eat something bigger. (laughing) (screaming) – [All] Kill! Kill! Kill! – Huh, must be allergies. – Maybe. But also we had a chimp here last week for Employee Appreciation Day. Choo Choo, his name was. (bonging) And somehow Choo Choo got loose
and bit Travis from sales. – [Voiceover] Ouch, he’s biting me! – And on the way out his trainer told me Choo Choo had recently been rescued from a small Thai fishing village. A team of anthropologists
who study the village made the trek out there one day, and all the people were just gone, except for Choo Choo. A word was scrawled on the
door of one of the huts. (speaking in foreign language) Or Danish in Thai, and they still don’t know
where all the villagers went or why Choo Choo didn’t go with them. (screaming) I was gonna send an email to everyone, but I was in an anal bleaching accident and it totally slipped my mind. Do you want to get lunch? – Yeah, I could eat. (sneezing) Must be allergies. Ah, Let’s go to an open
salad bar and use our fingers to grab the food. – Yeah, that sounds like fun. (sneezing) (upbeat music)


14 thoughts on “Sometimes It’s Not “Just Allergies”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *