The Anatomy of Loneliness – Teal Swan

By Adem Lewis / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

We are conceived in connection We are bathed in the warmth and security of connection from the moment that our mothers hold us against their breasts We don’t even think about who we really are because we are not differentiated It is in that moment that we are actually closer to who and what we really are But like I said, we don’t think about who and what we really are Because the idea isn’t that one that comes up in our psychology But from this place of connection, we experience a fall from grace The fall from grace is that deep visceral sense of connection. We begin to be differentiated we begin to see the world through the lens of Me and everything else And it’s at this moment that we lose our sense of connection Loneliness is something that all people on this planet experience to some degree or another But there’s two types of loneliness. The first is a type of loneliness that can be resolved by being just with other people So when we feel isolated and being around people just makes us feel a little bit better There’s another type of loneliness this type of loneliness is not solved by being around other people in fact It’s the type of loneliness that persists regardless of whether or not we’re in a crowded room and it’s the second type of loneliness That creates the most Intense type of suffering in the human race it’s where we perceive ourselves to be completely isolated from the world around us Because this form of loneliness is so pervasive we could call it an epidemic on the planet today. I have written a book a Book to solve this problem. I’ve called this book the anatomy of loneliness, in this book I reveal quite literally the anatomy of loneliness what specifically creates loneliness and how to resolve those things So as to create lasting connection with other people this book is available through my website And every other online book retailer such as Barnes & Noble, Booktopia, Amazon, if you want to learn about loneliness in depth and in great detail as well as how to find your way back to Connection I highly suggest that you pick up a copy of this book the anatomy of loneliness is composed of three distinct parts or pillars The first is separation Second is shame and the third is fear The story of separation happened far before your birth It happened in fact before physical form It is the idea of self versus others Obviously self-concept I is the Ego Separation is a state of fragmentation where one perceives oneself to be separate from everything else around it This fragmentation does not just take place externally relative to yourself and other things in the world It also takes place internally, the fragmentation that takes place within each person a fragmentation that creates internal disunity Causes us to separate from certain parts of ourselves It causes those parts to feel ostracized rejected disowned and isolated But here’s the thing. We can’t actually eradicate parts of our being from us. It’s not actually possible to separate from parts of ourselves We can try to disown reject and deny them but they’re still connected to us. That means we feel what they feel That means as we go through this process of internal fragmentation We caught ourselves off from parts of internal to us and external to us we make those parts feel alone We feel that aloneness, for more information about this watch my video titled “fragmentation, the worldwide disease” The second part of loneliness is shame. Most people think that shame It’s just the emotional reaction to experiences that are debasing in nature They make us feel bad about ourselves On a mental level on a physical level on an emotional level This is not a thorough understanding of shame. Shame is much more complex and much more fundamental to our nature shame is the mechanism of fragmentation to Understand shame. I want you to think about a sea anenome If you imagined poking the sea anenome with your finger or a stick what you would notice is it would immediately pinch itself closed This is a reaction It’s a primal reaction The sea anenome doesn’t have to think hard in order to do this What most people don’t understand about shame is that it’s an organic biological affective reaction Shame is actually a primitive reaction encoded in your organism. Just like your fight-or-flight mechanism and interestingly enough so is love When we experience shame, we push ourselves away from ourselves In response to something that has happened in our external environment or in response to a thought that we have adopted from our external environment But we can’t actually do this Obviously, how do you push yourself away? The only way to accomplish this is to split your own consciousness We become internally isolated from ourselves because consciousness can split We then feel as a result of it the secondary layer of shame. That’s the emotion of shame What that emotion causes us to do is it causes us to withdraw from other people We do to them the same thing. We’re doing on an internal level. We separate ourselves We either do this through direct avoidance meaning we become kind of a Wallflower Or else we do the opposite we’d become completely inauthentic We allow them to only be in a relationship with a facade that we put forward and either way we are isolated The third part of loneliness is fear, now to fear something Is the exact opposite of to love something to love something is to take something as part of yourself to fear something Is to push something away. To make it not part of yourself. You can’t push something away without simultaneously Becoming separated from it. So if the more fear we have the more separate we feel from everything around us Fear is the number one most isolating experience on the planet Fear about relationships are about other people simply serve to separate us from people and make us lonely when it comes to human contact We have four primary fears when it comes to relationships. They are abandonment rejection or disapproval Being trapped in pain in the relationship and loss of self also called (?) What most people don’t know is that it’s impossible to fear the unknown This means we fear what we have experienced before and been traumatized by Something that causes us to feel distressed that we could not resolve So what does this say about fear? If it’s impossible to fear something unknown and we experience fear that separates us in relationships It means that getting beyond fear and into a state of connection Is a lot about resolving past experiences. Things we have experienced that we have no resolve with Fear’s about something that we are projecting into the unknown It is critical to know that you cannot push through fear So as to get to connection if you try to push through something of bulldozer or act in spite of it You aren’t taking it as part of yourself. And so you’re actually separated from it in that moment So the ironic thing is the way that most of us deal with fear actually enhances loneliness Because it creates an increased separation between ourselves and our own fear Now let’s talk about connection for a minute Connection can be thought of as a link with something else where you perceive a link or association between yourself and that other thing But in a state of oneness You can’t be connected any more than you can be disconnected because you’re everything else and everything else is you In other words in the state of oneness, there is no need for connection But obviously most of us are not living in the state of oneness most of us can’t perceive ourselves to be the same as the coffee table that we’re drinking our coffee from So basically we are living in the land where we must develop connection as a very critical step to read Actualize in our state of oneness when it comes to making a genuine connection with someone else that link must be chosen Consciously and deliberately by both people involved in that connection Our connection can exist in a level of our being we can be mentally linked emotionally linked energetically linked or physically linked When we disconnect we break that link at one or all different levels of our being Because genuine connection is a link to someone that has been consciously chosen not forced upon us We have to focus on choosing to create it as well as on keeping it Our happiness in our individual lives depends on our capacity to be connected Our survival as a human race depends on our capacity to be connected right now loneliness is an epidemic It’s an epidemic with devastating implications The pain of the human conditions that we walk this planet with several billion other people and yet each of us Experiences a sense of isolation and feels alone That’s a serious problem I couldn’t think of anything worse it’s like starving to death in a grocery store Now it’s bad enough if this issue which is reaching epidemic proportions only affects us But it doesn’t it affects far more than that the pain of disconnection, it bleeds out across the planet the danger and disconnection is that when we disconnect for something we no longer perceive it to be Connected to link to or part of ourselves Therefore when we caused it pain, we don’t perceive directly our self being caused pain as a result Think about the implications of this, if I perceive myself to be other than or disconnected for something I can cause it pain Without feeling like that causes me pain at all When we perceive ourselves to be disconnected, we no longer feel the ripple of oneness that is our fundamental truth We no longer feel the impact that everything has on us and that we have on everything else And as a result, we can cause something or someone else pain without perceiving that pain in us The concept that there’s something innately painful or even dangerous about disconnection is something that fails to reach us until we realize our History and what disconnection has shown us in the past. in other words The concept of disconnection being dangerous seems theoretical and abstract until you realize that this is the reason that for years many countries were completely Segregated people with dark skin were taken from their families and kept as slaves burnt beaten and hung This is why in the 1940s Auschwitz and others death camps were created to contain and exterminate Jews and other demographics opposed to the Nazi regime Disconnection is what caused the US to drop a nuclear bomb on Hiroshima in 1945. It’s why as of 1979 Pol Pot’s regime had eliminated 21 percent of Cambodia’s entire population and today this connection is the reason a man can train for years with the single task of strapping a bomb to his own body and Exploding it himself along with it in an attack aimed to create terror and destruction to whomever he has decided as as his enemy every crime that has ever been committed has come about because the person committing that crime has believed themselves to be separate from disconnected from and isolated in some way from the person that they committed those crimes against The only way to save your species on the planet The only way to save planet itself at this point in time and the only way to end human suffering Is to create a sense of connection To end the sense of isolation and loneliness within the world and it begins with you ending it inside yourself Have a good week 🙂

100 thoughts on “The Anatomy of Loneliness – Teal Swan

  1. If I could kiss your face, I believe my life would change. I'd steal a quick inhale.

    There are some faces that are so beautiful, my eyes well up. Sincerely.
    I am a pathetic romantic. Even for times/memories/inanimate material objects/fundamental profound moments…
    It's a visceral desire to make progeny, this flame.
    I would love for you to carry many of my children.
    I bet it's amazing to hug you.

    Your smile, even the slightest, is so cute I could die.
    Intelligent one, You.

    That's all.

  2. Wow half million viewers, that say never say never could happen to me. Seen a lot loses

  3. Being one is a gift in this realm.It's only natural to feel lonely from time to time.It's best to embrace the moments of existence and try to go with the flow because we really do not have a choice within our entanglement JMO c];-)

  4. Just when I feel the most lonely Teal comes to the rescue. 😢 I couldn't appreciate this video more. Love you Teal

  5. I miss your old style of videos teal. I especially don’t enjoy watching the workshops. I just like to hear you teach.

  6. Very strange, suddenly, I wish that this lady were my mum!She is so a spiritual and aware of her own feeling!! My mum was so confused all the time!! I didn't have this feeling before!!

  7. Thank you for this message. Its helpful. Your way of delivering a deeper understanding of the material discussed can reach more cleanly and concisely. Thank you again for all the messages you share.

  8. What is wrong with the obliteration of the human species? It seems to be a failed experiment, rife with continual suffering.

  9. Teal Swan.. you need to be on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday talking about this! Why are you not on there already!!!!!????? – you're amazing xxxx

  10. You are so accurate ! More people are going through this on the planet. This is especially true for those who face a catastrophic illness. Many people don't have a choice and are forced to go it alone. If emotional healing doesn't take place the effects are devastating. Great video and great work !

  11. I’m really excited for this book but trying to remind myself a book isn’t going to save me from this feeling..I have to save me and this book will be a helper

  12. It's horrible we are all guilty and be ashamed but I believe we can be better people if people realize that everything is interdependent on each other

  13. It helped me a lot to understand the transcendence, that God can also be lonely! Feeling His original loneliness, being forsaken by us, made me overcome my self-pity and gain charity.

  14. I’ve been waiting for an in-depth discussion of this topic on YouTube. This is the first I’ve found (& I hope to read your book soon). Thank you so much Teal! You’re awesome:)

  15. Hi Teal. Can you make a video on ocd, and specifically intrusive thoughts? How do i handle these the best way? Do i just push them aside? I need help.

  16. I have no idea what to do because i am always "willing to include" or to be there for/with somebody in an authentic way …i experience only hatred jealousy and rejection….i m helpless at this point to change sth…

  17. Super helpful video! Loneliness happens when you don't like the person you are alone with or you don't like being alone with your thoughts. Self improvement, setting goals, "finding" yourself, self care, & focusing on your passions help banish the feelings of loneliness and actually help develop positive feelings around being alone. Years a go I felt super lonely and down, but once I started relishing in some "me" time and used my free time to go all in on my passion, I now cannot go a day without being alone doing what I love (making youtube videos) or indulging in a something that relaxes me. Instead of focusing on the absence focus on the presence of what there IS and how you can improve. Infinite blessings to everyone!

  18. My YouTube news feed posts your videos and the topic is always relevant kinda make me wonder do the algorithms know me?

  19. That was a powerful one. I mean you always make me feel "seen" in the spookiest of ways, but this is literally part of what I was realizing the night before last. When I have money, I'm buying that book.

  20. Waiting for my copy to arrive italy!!!
    Thank you Teal for the insights and the depth of understanding you’re presenting

  21. Waiting for my copy to arrive italy!!!
    Thank you Teal for the insights and the depth of understanding you’re presenting

  22. Waiting for my copy to arrive italy!!!
    Thank you Teal for the insights and the depth of understanding you’re presenting

  23. Awesome video, but it seems like the biggest enemy is judgment. We spend our time every day making judgments to have a better life, whatever that is, so we chase the dragon of judgment to achieve that. So people become good or bad relative to that, or good or evil depending on the conditioned paradigm. If you only want to help smart beautiful people you create a paradigm for that, and hide that paradigm because you know people will think less you and lower you on their paradigm poll. Feel free to argue why this isn't the case.

  24. Some good ideas here, but I disagree with the statement that it is impossible to fear the unknown. Fear of the unknown is one of the biggest fears in human condition it serves both as the source of inspiration (fantasy, science fiction, horror) and as the source of delusion(religion).

  25. Ummm Teal so here is the thing and correct me if im wrong in the polite way. Im just curious because there is another book written out there about the same subject and has the same title. Im just curious you dont want accusations of plargerism. But what is one to think?

  26. for those who have created a sense of connection within them for prolonged periods of their life what does it look and feel like to you?

  27. All of this is not just disconnection it’s the male species that is not willing to accept the fact that life was given to them by a woman and that’s why they love torture death and pain. Its their way of showing disrespect to women and their creation ! They hate us cuz we are the ones that created them !

  28. Dude, that disconnection bit of not realize how bad ignoring others could hurt struck home. I lost many friends this way, and it still sucks even after I've tried mending things. It can be so detrimental.

  29. You helped me so much to overcome my trauma and work in self love and self worth. Thank you for changing my life to better! I pre ordered your book and I cannot wait to read it! Very excited and looking forward to heal myself again with your help ❤️

  30. Was abandoned by my mum, since lets sat birth, when she decided to leave me in a crib and go off to gamble on the horses down the road… I was latter told by my father's most closest friend that when he came home from work, he found my nappies in a mess with an invading cockroach… Then the justice law system handed me over to a psychologically and physically abuse parent… yep my mum… At the age of 9 I was certain that I would rid myself of these hellish earthy planes, but I guess my spirit guides came into play and advised me against my negative thought based commitments… Pupils in primary school gave me a difficult time due to my obese weight issues… lol.. and was totally fracking rejected at every P.E dance class by opposite sexes. well frack them today in the here and now as I am as thin as a fracking door nail…yep, I have had secondary contact 🙂 … I am still being bullied by one, whom thinks I am a space cadet/ devils daughter???…lol… I assertively gathered my reserved strength and informed her that I was a space warrior instead… lol… yes she is living in fear unfortunately and even though I have tried to help this certain individual see the sliver lining amongst the clouds, she simply worships the monetary funding system more than her own true sovereign worth… I am blessed too you know 🙂 I have so many wonderful and enlightening individuals beside me like yourself, which I am so very grateful to explore. Mind you, your work takes me into a more lateral thinking process, which I don't really mind, but in all honest, struggle to comprehend at times…lol… Teal, I have read your 3 books thus far and am looking forward to reading your next…. By the way, I will be looking more forward to reading your recipe book one day… yum yum 🙂 take care and source bless xx

  31. Loneliness is is self perceived. I am not at all concerned with being surrounded by other people, nor am I concerned with their perception, of what they will attempt to tell me, about how they feel that something is unconventional in my desire to be solitary. There are no feelings of isolation, when I am within my own personal realm. I do not concern myself with their lack of understanding, regarding how this is of my very own choosing, to be entitled to remain within my own legitimate personal reality. Neither are they genuinely concerned, regarding the reasons that I choose to remain this way. They are unfailingly in contention with me, regarding what they perceive to be within my best interests. Althrough their uninformed conclusions, cause them be given over to proclaiming what they would imagine would be best for my overall well being. No, they are truly not genuine in their motives for doing so. I am an anomoly that they view as being an oddity, which poses a challenge to their sense of a communal pattern of regularity. Rather than placating them, by doing everything that I find no interest in, I am the mystery that they are unaccostemed with being exposed to. I can fathom out that they display a level of fear, resulting from being being incapable of exercising any level of influence, over my resolve. I am well satisfied in being one who will go to the extensive lengths of ensuring my private life. There is nothing worthwhile to be had, in the lip service approval, that is always stemming from superficial groups of people.

  32. man, this is my challenge… through isolation, I met my spirituality and was able to dive deep into my being. Now, it's hard for me to climb back up and put these realizations into use. Finding relationship is hard enough that I keep being a wall flower. finding the balance, knowing other people have their own states of consciousness and values and may not match up with my own, respecting that but at the same time fearing rejection and unable to take the plunge, being in that state of limbo. it's frustrating.

  33. Howdy!..Teal..i've been watching your videos and subscribed a month ago…i like you, what you doing is so admirable…the awareness…and when the moment ive knwn your story…i say to myself, such a brave soul in this Time/ Era.. a real lady Warrior! Thk you for doing the right thing.☆☆☆

  34. Can someone tell me if this will be a good book for someone who is really ambitious but got way too comfortable being alone?

  35. separation
    shame – mechanism of fragmentation
    fear – push sumn away,not make it part of you
    (abandonment, loss of self, trapped in fear, rejection)

    we cannot fear the unknown. we actually fear what we have experienced before that we could not resolve, aka trauma. fear is what we project into theunknown.

    when we live in oneness, we dont need anymore the concept of connection. but most of us arent in that state of oneness. therefore, connection is a critical step in re actualizing.
    connection: physical, emotional, mental, energeti

    !every crime that has happened is because the person who commits it against another person believes himself to be separate from the other.

  36. I see so much pain in her eyes. I can feel the trauma she’s been through. Oh my god. I wish I could have given her a hug in this moment. A good hug.

  37. When she said "save your race" an unnervingly cold chill ran through my spine. Brrr 😀 Joke aside, I'm reading the book currently. It brings me comfort to finally sense an understanding by someone else.

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