By Adem Lewis / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /

– Hi, it’s Nicki from
Happy Hormones For Life, and today we are talking sex, basically. We are looking at a subject
that is very, very tricky for a lot of menopausal
women, perimenopausal women, and not often talked about, so we’re hitting it head on today. We’re talking about it, the symptoms, the issues, the causes, and some natural solutions that
can be very, very effective. (claps) So what are we looking at? Symptoms, you know it’s painful sex, it’s vaginal dryness, often
called vaginal atrophy, the most horrible word (laughs) it’s basically your vagina is
atrophying, it’s dying inside. It’s awful. Low libido, a lack of desire. Look, it’s a subject that
is often not talked about, but when I talk to women
about their symptoms I’d say nine out of 10 of
them of them are not happy with their sex life in some way. So whether that’s either
all of these symptoms, or some of them, or one or two of them. And they’re not alone, studies
have shown 75% of women over 40 feel like their
sex drive is decreasing, and 70% report dryness
as an issue as well. So it is very, very common. Now it may not be an issue for you and not all women want to
maintain a healthy sex life, for whatever reason,
and that’s totally fine. But those of you who do
wanna stay sexually active and want to be healthy in that area, this can be a major issue for you, especially if you want to, you know if you’ve got a loving partner, and you want to keep that intimacy going. So what are the causes of this? Well we’ve got physical causes, of course. So we’ve got menopause, so less ovulation, less estrogen being produced, and now estrogen is
responsible for keeping all of your vessels, and your arteries, and your linings of
everything pretty moist, and supple and lubricated. So when you haven’t got
enough estrogen going on, we can get very dry and very brittle. And we can also have low progesterone, which can cause breast
tenderness and it feels sore, you don’t want anybody touching them. Lower testosterone is another
thing for menopause as well, and we know that that is
often responsible for libido. Other physical things going on, fatigue, we’re all exhausted, right? So you know you’re less
likely to wanna have sex if you’re absolutely
shattered and exhausted at the end of the day. Stress is another big one. Now cortisol, got lots of
cortisol adrenaline going on, that is the biggest turn off for sex or desire, your libido completely, because cortisol shuts
down your sex hormones. So that’s the last thing
you’re gonna be wanting to do because the body thinks
it’s in survival mode, it’s not gonna be wanting to
bring a baby into this world. That’s the nature of what’s going on. You can have thyroid issues as well. Now thyroid is your hormone
regulator, metabolism. It’s responsible for pretty
much every cell in the body getting the energy it needs to do stuff. So that includes your reproductive
area, your sex hormones and your brain as well. So if your thyroid is low, you’re very unlikely to be in the mood. Nutrient deficiencies,
very, very important. So physically, as we get older, we don’t absorb our nutrients very well, even if we’re on a really good diet. And we need certain nutrients to make sure everything’s
working properly, which I’ll come to in a second. If you’re having hot
flashes and night sweats, you’re not gonna be in the
mood for much, are you? ‘Cause it’s just, you know,
you’re sweaty, you’re hot and it’s just gonna be a big turn off. Medications as well, is another one. If you’re on things like
the birth control pill or some forms of HRT or anti-depressants, they can actually suppress your libido because that’s just one
of the side-effects. So just keep an eye on that and check that that might
not be one of the causes. Psychological causes as well. So feeling less attractive
as we get older, maybe we’ve got some weight-gain going on or maybe we’re feeling
a bit hot and sweaty. And you know, we just don’t
feel confident in ourselves. We might have mood swings. So a really common thing with menopause, and, you know, you might be arguing more or just feeling, you know, not happy. So you know that can have a big effect. Relationship issues. Again you might not be on the best terms. You may have lost that
little bit of intimacy because you’re going up
and down with your moods or whatever reason. Or it may be them. Whatever it is, you know, if
we’ve got relationship issues, obviously we’re gonna have an altered sex life. Stress and anxiety again, psychologically that’s
gonna have an impact too. So we’ve got this sort
of mixture of physical and psychological reasons for different areas of these symptoms. So what are we gonna do about it? What are some natural solutions? Well I’ve put a list of 10 together that I think, you know, once You know, you’ve gotta try all of these or any of them or some of them. So the first thing to
do is absolutely talk to your partner. Explain what’s happening. I don’t know how many
times I’ve done talks where men have been sitting in the room and they just come up to
me afterwards and said, “Oh my God, that explains
everything!” (laughs) And just knowing about
what’s happening to you, it gives them the understanding and gives them some tools to
be able to not only understand but also help you and support you and just be a little
bit more understanding. Counseling may be helpful
if you’re in a couple if it’s a tricky subject
or some kind of therapy. Second one is to relax. (laughs) Schedule I think I say this on every single video because it’s so important because when we’re not relaxed
and we’re stressed out, it effects every single bit of this. So schedule in that me time, take that stress away if you can. Like I said, it’s a sure-fire
turn-off in every respect. So we want to be just giving
ourselves some time every day to switch off that stress response. The mindfulness. Try, you know, acupuncture. Relaxation techniques,
whatever works for you. Doing something that you love every day. You know, giving yourself some love. So you know, whether
that’s walking in nature or reading or a massage or
talking to a good friend or watching a funny movie, whatever it is that you love to do. Thirdly, is diet. So we wanna really focus
on those nutrients. Now the biggest help in You know, I’m not gonna
talk about the basics. Obviously get the basics right. But the things you can add into your diet are things like phytoestrogens. Now I’ve done a video on this. Just go and search for that. And I go into more detail on that. But these are the plant estrogens that help to replace
your own estrogen levels. They trick the body into
thinking it’s your own estrogen. So we’re talking about
organic soy products. We’re talking about flax seeds. And a really particular supplement that has red clover in it. It’s got a lot of isoflavones which are very strong phytoestrogens. So I’ll talk about that in a second when we get to supplements. But phytoestrogens in your
diet, really, really important. Chickpeas and lentils as well. Plenty of healthy fats because we know that healthy fats create produce sex hormones. We know that they’re made from
cholesterol, many of them. And we want those healthy
fats for extra lubrication. So if you’ve got anything dry. Dry eyes, anything dry, you need to be eating
lots of healthy fats. The oily fish, the nuts,
the seeds, the olives, the olive oil, the coconut
oil, that kind of stuff. Lots of colorful veg. We want to also avoid our food stressors. One of those being alcohol, that’s a sure-fire libido killer. Number four is exercise. And we know that exercise
stimulates circulation and blood flow and oxygen
to all the right parts. So we want to be making
sure we’re very active. So walking, yoga, Pilates, weights. They’re all my favorite
things to do with exercise. But you know, choose your thing, whatever you love to do, and
get that really scheduled in. But don’t over-exercise
’cause that’s another stress and that’s gonna kill
your libido too (laughs) Number five is products. Switching to some natural
personal products. So not only can many
personal products irritate those delicate areas, if
you’re using shower gels, for instance, with lots of
scent in them or whatever, that’s not gonna help that pH balance which is very delicate. But these products also contain
hormone-disrupting chemicals which I talk about a lot. Things like synthetic fragrances, they are possibly the
worst, some of the worst. And they are proven to
mess with your hormones and we don’t need any more
messing with our hormones when we’re going through menopause, right? Number six is a big one actually. It’s about loving your body. We women talk to ourselves, sometimes, in a way we’d never talk to
anyone else that we loved. Do we? We are very very harsh on ourselves. When we look in the mirror,
we pick out everything that we hate. You know, when you hear a negative voice about a certain part of your body, try and turn it into a positive. So, you know, when I
look at my wobbly belly, I then think, well, you know what? That belly has brought two
amazing children into the world. Turn it into something that is a positive. And if you haven’t had
children, think about, you know, that belly is actually
keeping you, you know, giving you some spare energy
in case you every need it. If there’s a famine or whatever. Your body’s doing that purposefully, to actually save you
from a long-term famine or some disastrous event. So you know, if you see wrinkles, be grateful that you have
lived long enough to have them. And I know this is easy
to say, but you know, we really need to just switch
around and be more positive about the fact that we’re
still here, you know? Your body’s an amazing thing. It puts up with a huge amount. You know I thank We should be thanking it every single day for keeping us alive, right? So get some affirmations about your body and even if you don’t
believe them at first, you’re gonna start to feel
more positive about yourself and that’s gonna help
you feel a bit more sexy. Seven is supplements. (claps) There are certain
supplements I’d recommend to help with libido and
dryness particularly. So Omega-7 Sea Buckthorn Oil. Really nice supplement, it
promotes that lubrication, it’s a really nice one. Fish oil, Omega-3 EPA and DHA. Really good brands of those
with high levels of EPA and DHA. They are your Omega-3 fish oils. If you don’t eat a lot of
sardines or oily fish, salmon, you’re gonna need more of those because they are your,
you know, your lubrication and your healthy cell linings. A good multivitamin will
give you all the vitamins and minerals you need. I’ve talked about this
before, but things like the Nutri One a Day
for Women is a nice one and Life Extension Two
A Day is also lovely, another one that I like. Maca is a great supplement. I’ve talked about this before as well, but the Femmenessence
Maca range is really nice. MacaPause if you’re postmenopausal, MacaLife if you’re perimenopausal, and MacaHarmony if you’re premenopausal. They have everything covered,
and maca is a great one. It’s nature’s Viagra, so it’s gonna be good for
energy, stamina, and libido. So if you wanna give that
a go, that’s in the shop, which I’ll talk about in a second. I’m also gonna recommend Promensil, which is the red clover extract. It’s that phytoestrogen
that I talked about, that helps replace that natural estrogen. Again, that’s gonna be lubrication. That’s gonna be more estrogen that makes you feel like you used to. And magnesium I’d add to that list because magnesium is
incredibly good for relaxation, particularly when we’re stressed. Number eight Oh, by the way, you can get
most of those supplements in the Live Better with
Menopause collection over there. I’ll put the link underneath. I’ve got a collection there. Most of those are featured. If not, the others will
be coming, so don’t worry. Number eight is lubricants. Now sometimes we can do all this and we still need a little bit of help. There are two natural
lubricants that I recommend. One is called Yes and the other one is called Sylk. S-Y-L-K Again, they’re in the shop, so go and have a look at those. You don’t wanna be using lubricants with chemicals in them ’cause then you’re just
gonna make everything worse. So look for natural lubricants. Coconut oil, if you
don’t wanna buy anything, is a really good thing as well. Next, if they don’t work
and you’re really at the end of your tether, you can use
estrogen, localized estrogen. Something like Vagifem is
something that’s on prescription and that is a body-identical estrogen, so it’s very safe and natural. And then lastly, you know, if you’ve got any incontinence
associated with this, or you feel like you need to
strengthen your pelvic floor, there’s a couple of things
you can try for that as well. There’s Elvie Training, which is I don’t even know. I can’t even describe it. Go and have a look at it. It’s great. It’s something that is completely designed to help your pelvic floor. And the MUTU System,
which I talk about a lot, is an exercise program for
strengthening your core and your pelvic floor, and it’s very, very effective. So if you wanted to try that,
again I’ll put some links in the comments. I hope that’s been useful. Please comment and tell me
if there’s anything in there that has resonated with you, or any solutions that
you’ve found work for you, that would be amazing. Let’s get this conversation started. Take care everyone. (mouse clicks)

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