Vitalii: (sings) Love of my life… Jakub: Okay, okay. I got it. Vitalii: My love of my life. Jakub: (laughs)
Vitalii: (laughs) Vitalii: In this video we went totally crazy. Jakub: Here is a gas tank full of helium. Jakub: (yells) He is stealing! Vitalii: That’s not funny… Vitalii: Today is Valentine’s Day! That means we need a french wine. France is the country of love. Vitalii: Here is a wine glas in case you don’t have one. Vitalii: Let’s serve our guest first. Jakub: It’s Valentine’s Day and we decided to spend this special day with YOU! Jakub: We got each other 24/7 which is why there is no point to make it about us two. Jakub: To make this a special day for you, we prepared here a few things. Jakub: Here we have a gas tank full of helium. Jakub: Plenty of heart shaped balloons! Jakub: Rose petals! Unfortunately, these are fake because we can’t effort real roses… Jakub: And wine, of course… Jakub: Because wine is everything that matters. Jakub: Let’s start with the wine. Open it. Vitalii: No. We will drink the wine to pizza. Jakub: Okay. Give me the whiskey then. Vitalii: No, you won’t drink now! Jakub: But— Vitalii: No! Vitalii: I forgot to wash my hands after the toilet… Jakub: What!? Stop filming! Vitalii: Are you really going to drink this cheap whiskey? Jakub: Of course. I will demonstrate you how to drink out of this special bottle. Vitalii: No, you won’t do it because then this video will not get monetised. Jakub: Shit… Vitalii: How to call this thing? Jakub: It’s a bottle!?
Vitalii: A bottle! Vitalii: We filled this big bottle with tea. Vitalii: And Jakub is going to demonstrate you how to drink tea out of this big bottle. Jakub: So, the thing is that you need to— Siri: (makes sounds in the background) Jakub: Siri, is that you? Vitalii: She is listening to us! Jakub: Why are you listening to us!? Siri: I won’t respond to that. Jakub: Siri, today is Valentine’s Day. Do you love me? Siri: Well, I enjoy spending quality time with you. Vitalii: (gasps) Vitalii: (shits his pants) Jakub: What’s wrong!? What happened? Vitalii: I thought you dropped the tank out of your hand! Jakub: You’re so stupid. Vitalii: Better close the cupboard. Jakub: Why!? Jakub: (slowmotion) Whhhhhyyyyyyyy? Jakub: What to do first? Vitalii: Let’s get done with the gas tank. Jakub: Alright. Vitalii: It won’t fit without lubrication. Jakub: I vote for candles. I want to light the candles and distribute the rose petals. Jakub: I don’t see anything! Wait a moment… almost! Jakub: Can you see me? Vitalii: Unfortunately. Jakub: Let do this again… Jakub: That was not very sexy… Jakub: Time for the rose petals! Vitalii: You want to put them on the floor? Jakub: No, of course not! Jakub: I think I still have videos of our first Valentine’s Day that I uploaded to Instagram… Jakub: This takes more time than expected… but it will be worth it. Jakub: I am scared it might explode… Jakub: And then you go like this… Jakub: And done! Let it fly! Vitalii: (sarcasm) Good that our ceilings are high…. Jakub: I love it either way. Jakub: This so much easier! Last time I had to tie every balloon by hand and then attach the string to it seperately! Jakub: My fingers were almost bleeding! Jakub: (funny voice) I love you! Vitalii: (funny voice) Does it work? Oh my goodness! Vitalii: I feel dizzy though… Jakub: Well, that’s because you just breathed in helium instead of oxygen and your body is missing oxygen… Jakub: (sighs) Jakub: Okay, enough. Get up and help me. Jakub: This looks amazing! Vitalii: Oh my god, your kiss woke me up! Jakub: Look how cool! Vitalii: While Jakub is— Vitalii: I think Jakub just exploded… Jakub: Sorry… the balloon blasted. Vitalii: While Jakub is filling up the balloons, I am going to make pizza! Vitalii: But I will try to make it a heart shaped pizza! Vitalii: Let’s see if I will succeed… Vitalii: Well, almost… Vitalii: This is the finished pizza! Vitalii: Wow… that’s a lot of balloons… Vitalii: That’s nice. Vitalii: Let’s make a wish! Vitalii: Oh my god, it works! It’s growing bigger! Vitalii: Look how many balloons! Each of these balloons symbolises one of Jakub’s sex partners before me. Jakub: No. These balloons symbolise our endless loving Winos! Jakub: I would inflate 825,000 balloons if I could, but I’m afraid we don’t have the money for that. Jakub: So it will be only 50 balloons. Jakub: I love gravity-defying objects. It’s a litte bit like magic… Jakub: Flying balloons are the only things that make be happy apart from alcohol. Jakub: Hello! Happy Valentine’s Day! Vitalii: Happy Valentine’s Day! Jakub: Kiss my before I catch fire from the candles underneath me. Jakub: It’s a shame we don’t have roses for you. Jakub: We planned on getting flowers for you, but the lines to the flower shops turned out to be so long that we gave up. Jakub: Let it go. Jakub: Such a kitten… Jakub: Beautiful! Jakub: This is the gayest pizza I ever saw. Vitalii: The time has come… Jakub: Wow… you broke the heart. Vitalii: That was the idea. Vitalii: We should add screaming sounds here… Vitalii: (demonstrates screaming sounds) Jakub: Finally, time for the wine! I’ve been waiting the whole evening for this moment! Vitalii: Here is your wine glas! Vitalii: It’s time for mukbang! Jakub: Valentine’s mukbang… how is mukbang pronounced? Vitalii: Doesn’t matter. The most important part is that you can join us for pizza. Vitalii: Guest’s first. Vitalii: I like the wine a lot. I didn’t know french wine tastes so good. Jakub: I think all the french people unsubscribed from the channel now because of you. Vitalii: But I said I appreciate french wine! Jakub: I can understand everything… but why did you have to add this fake sausage? Vitalii: Because it’s better than salami… Salami is bad for me. Vitalii: What do people usually talk about on Valentine’s Day? Jakub: Probably about all the sex poses they want to try out… Vitalii: I mean a topic that can be monetised. Vitalii: Besides, try the pizza! Jakub: I like everything expect for the sausage… Vitalii: Do you know what I would like to talk about? About happiness! Jakub: That’s a very abstract topic. Vitalii: I know that we don’t know anything about it. Jakub: Like I said, it’s a very abstract topic. Vitalii: Not really. I just want to tell them that everyone things that love is the same as happiness. Vitalii: We can assure you that this is not the case. Both: (giggle) Vitalii: Love is love and happiness is not existing. Jakub: Is this really the kind of topic you want to talk about? Jakub: We have the possibility to lift people’s mood, so why would we talk about something so negative? Vitalii: True. Let’s leave this for my personal channel. Vitalii: Alright then, offer me your topic. Jakub: (…) Jakub: I never saw a mukbang. What do people do in a mukbang? Vitalii: They eat and talk. Vitalii: This way our fans can grab a snack and join us for eating dinner and talk. Vitalii: So how about you tell us something about yourself and we pretend that we listen! Jakub: Good idea! Tell us more about yourself. Vitalii: I feel like an escort now… Jakub: That would be expensive. Vitalii: Besides, we would like to announce our escort service. Jakub: What!? Vitalii: I got inspired by Tim Cook. Vitalii: Because he sells— Jakub: Apple Watches! Vitalii: Breakfasts. Vitalii: Breakfasts with Tim Cook. Vitalii: There are actually a lot of celebrities who sell breakfast. Jakub: They don’t sell breakfast. They sell themselves for breakfast… Both: (laugh) Vitalii: The idea behind is that you can meet with that person and have a chance to talk to them in person while having breakfast with them. Vitalii: And so I thought to myself: Why am I worse than Tim Cook? Vitalii: And there are a lot of reasons why. (laughs) Jakub: For instance you don’t run a multi billion dollar company. Jakub: Neither do you have the life experience that he has with… Jakub: How old is Tim Cook? Siri: Tim Cook is 59 years old. Jakub: You don’t have the experience he has with 59 years. Vitalii: Yes, but still— Jakub: I think you should eat more and talk less. Jakub: We would like to give you a kiss for Valentine’s Day. Jakub: Which is why we are launching kiss stickers with our real life lip prints! Jakub: We sort of done this already with the T-Shirts, but I think the stickers will be more fun because you can glue them wherever you want. Jakub: Check out the merch store! The link is in the description. Jakub: We hope you like it. Vitalii: Let’s talk about another project, because Jakub doesn’t like my breakfast idea. Vitalii: Do you know Winston Churchill? Vitalii: Siri, how to pronounce Churchill? Siri: C-H-U-R-C-H-I-L-L Jakub: Who is Winston Churchill? Jakub: I am serious. I don’t know him. Vitalii: Winston Churchill was going live on a daily base to talk to the citizens. Vitalii: And I think we should make a live stream once a week! Jakub: The thing is that we have done live streams in the past but it was very difficult to talk to you guys because the chat was full of spam. Jakub: So we thought we might reach you better if we sort out those few of you who really care about us so we could interact better with you. Jakub: Don’t worry, it won’t be anythign expensive. It will cost only 1$. Jakub: And this 1$ subscription will grant you access to our live streams. Jakub: If you can effort to spend a bit more money and want to support us more, you can also subscribe for 3$. Jakub: And if you are very crazy and generous, you can subscribe for 10$ to support us even more. Jakub: However, all 3 subscriptions are the same. They give you the benefit to join the live stream. Jakub: And depending on how much money you can effort to support us, you are being given the chance to choose the price that fits you the best. Vitalii: Put the phone down. Jakub: But it’s an iPhone, I wanna show it off! Vitalii: And I want cuddles!