You Look Like… You Need An Inhaler For Crossfit
15
October

By Adem Lewis / in , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , /


coming to you from the ph cafe in
memphis tennessee this is you look I don’t know I’m your host so easy
lol – this is you look like let me explain this gammy alright quick we got
two comedians locked in a battle of insults but the only rule is they’ve got
to start with you look like you like you facts dick pics you look like a woke
Weezy Jefferson winners take home the crown losers go to the mirror of shame
y’all ready to meet our contenders well my name is Ozzie Jackson I’m from
Houston Texas but I live in a little right now I’m gay in Little Rock which
is even worse because the men there are very unattractive but that’s why I
stayed there also because you know I got like immediately 1/7 as soon as I take a
bath in the morning hi my name is Mitchell Dunham and I’m an illustrator
here in Memphis I’ve got this tattoo right here it’s basically all my broken
bones both times that I’ve died and all 22 surgeries can go on we read it into
one big tattoo inks awesome I love tattoos it’s a lot of full-on painting
to counter is fun let’s get straight to it are you ready with show demolition
man I feel like you could have been like
walking but you found out five years ago and now you just like the attention I’m
in it for the parking somebody I’ll catch you doing Zumba one day I know you
can walk down what you look like I don’t know what you look like cuz my mom said
it’s not nice to stare at people like you you look like your favorite part of
school with shower during gym you look like you wish you knew a gym class was
like you look like everything Trump wants to change in America you look like
you tried to lea Fillion you were like it we would have sex oh I fall asleep
and you fall in love baby you look like boom brother Mario already stepped on
you look like you think George Bush invented HIV you look like something
that George Bush actually did invent you look like every point guard in the WNBA
you look like we’ve got to if you think Mitchell should move on to the next
round I’ll make some noise if you think I just move on to the next
right now make some noise I think you’re moving up to the next round ah man congratulations Ozzie it’s time
for the role of shame that’s just how I roll you look like a pint-sized Doc
Holliday you look like an oompa loompa that got
loose this is stupid you look like this really isn’t working
hard if you thought that first round was breakfast this second round is gonna be
like knocking of Casey Anthony again y’all ready to meet our contenders my
name is Richard Douglas Jones I realized I needed to start losing weight cuz I
was having sex with this chick one day and I looked down and my stomach was
resting on her ass and like I lifted up my stomach and I can go further in and I
was like this will not do I’m getting walk by my own stomach like I gotta hit
him Jim I’m Geneva Joey I’m a Philadelphia but I
live in New Orleans one of my hobbies turn side hustle is I host adult bingo
where I give away sex toys and prizes I’ve been doing that about six years now
my big prize most shows is like a 18 to 24 inch double dong that gets real when
I give out like butt plugs everybody goes I don’t want no but
pledge but the minute I start calling numbers everybody starts playing very
intentionally alright y’all already know the rules the winner moves on to the
next round the loser goes Samira che Geneva are you ready for the next round
I’m ready look at those looking like two chocolate
cover apples it hey Richard are you ready for the next round which old white
man trapped in a fat black guy’s body alright y’all go ahead shake hands
y’all count it down wit me three two one you’re like a sex tourism Branson you look like you were smart you is kind
you is important you don’t like Arthur if he was a Huxtable you look like call
me now for free reading you’ll like an even hey let it go to CrossFit you look
like Erica but don’t do like a troll after chemo you look like you get all the dick solos
on your praise be like your wears glasses – you look like you want to tell
me about the power of pints all do like baked chicken
and white people be ok alright alright you think Richardson move on to the next
round make some noise every time with alright so if you think Geneva should
move on to the next round I’ll make some noise with you moving on to the final
round y’all ready know which way to go si you
like you relate for this show you like a Somali pirates favorite hostage you like
you judge people by how they make biscuits what you try to smoke it
instant before well let’s get to it then Richard are
you ready oh yeah Ozzy are you ready yeah y’all go ahead
shake hands oh yeah y’all ain’t gonna be cool Lepidus all right yeah let’s count
it down three two one you look like you showed a dirty q-tip
to your barber and he was like I got you fam you look like you big and black for
no reason at all you look like your changes caught on
zippers you look like your dad called you a dishonorable discharge you look
like your skeleton is just made of pecans you look like debo stole
everything but an attractive face you look like a gay Candyman you look like the top of Aaron Evans
mole you look like you decided to be gay cuz balls rest so perfectly on your chin you look like one of those balls has
been resting on my chin my horn alright y’all it’s time to crown the
champion so y’all think Ozzy deserves to cry y’all make some noise okie dokie think Richard should get the
cry out make some noise I have been an outstanding crowd tonight
upset we do baby you look good we look like we look into the mirror of
shame and expect to receive your father looking back at you
aza you look like you just gave her to somebody who was eating hot fries aza
you look like somebody bust a nut on your mouth you with Ozzy we look like
hashtag Aborigines lives matter Ozzy you look like you could claim all
the Cubs things as dependents


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